


Finding home (working Title, might change)

by Draconia



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-05 22:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconia/pseuds/Draconia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the end of the Inititive Xander realises that it's time to finally head home to his real family, when his father calls to tell him that his brother John is missing and he is being given the run around by the government. Just maybe this time Xander can let his real personality show and his brains. There is nothing that he wouldn't do for his blood family, even cross the damn galaxy to find his wayward brother, though he was going to kick his ass when he finally found him for worrying everyone.<br/>Hiatus/Complete</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Xander watched from the shadows as the soldiers that had survived Adam loaded their gear and then themselves, his eyes searching for one face among them until he spotted him standing next to one of the large trucks, arms folded over his chest, his face blank.  
He watched as the man stiffened and then the blue eyes began searching the shadows, he stepped forward a little, enough to be noticed and then stepped back to be hidden again. He saw the eyes soften a little, this he knew would have to be their goodbye, neither of them had a chance to sneak away from their friends to talk in private.  
He had never expected to fall for a guy, let alone someone from the military, they'd had to be careful for so many different reasons, only two people knew, Riley and Anya.  
Graham nodded ever so slightly before he turned and slid into the cab of the truck as it began to pull out.  
Xander stood watching until he couldn't see the trucks anymore and then sighed as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.  
“You really think that you can stay here, Riley?” Xander asked softly, not turning around but looked up at the stars.  
“I have to try, Xan, I love her.” Riley answered just as quietly. “What are you going to do now?”  
“Things have changed here and I'm not so sure that I can take it anymore.” Xander sighed lowering his head and as one they began to walk away from the collage. “I've spent the last four years putting everyone in front of my own needs and wants, I know that if I stay here I'll just get pulled back in so I'm going to have to leave.” He unlocked his car and they climbed in.  
“Where are you going to go?” Riley asked as Xander drove them back to the magic box.  
“I have no idea.” Xander shrugged. “Just away from here, no one has a long life expediency here, not even us.” he parked and turned off the engine just staring at the store for a long moment. “It's not going to be easy for anyone of us, I don't know if they're going to beg me to stay or be really flippant and wave me off.” He frowned a little. “To be honest I'm not sure which one I'd prefer.” He reached into his pocket as he cell began ringing. “I'll be in as soon as I'm done.” Xander told Riley.  
“I'm sure that they will understand.” Riley murmured before getting out of the car and headed into the Magic Shop.  
“I hope so.” Xander sighed before answering the call. “Yeah, Harris.”  
“Alexander.” A smooth male voice greeted him, one that he hadn't heard in months.  
“Patrick.” Xander returned easily hiding his swirling emotions, though he wasn't sure he managed to hide the faint smile that had tugged at his lips when he heard the man's voice. “It's been awhile, how is business? The rest of the family?”  
“Business is doing fine, it's actually a family matter that I am calling you about.” Patrick's concern began to bleed through. “I know that you can get information on nearly anything if you put your mind to it.”  
“And have done so for you before.” Xander agreed quietly, glancing at the Magic shop, his smile fading away completely. “What info do you need?”  
“John is missing on a classified mission, I'm getting stone walled. He's been gone for just over a year, maybe more, all I'm being told it that it is classified and I don't need to know.”  
“With your rating?” Xander blinked a little in surprise.  
“Exactly.”  
“That is high.” Xander murmured. “Give me a week to get back to you, better off not talking on the phone about this.”  
“Yeah, I've waited this long a few more weeks isn't going to change anything.” Patrick sighed.  
“Which house should I head to?” Xander asked as he pulled the keys out of the ignition.  
“I'll send you my schedule later so you know where I'll be at when you head my way.” Patrick murmured. “How have things been on your end?”  
“I'll fill you in on that when I get there, but the way things are looking right now, I'm headed out of town permanently.”  
“I'm looking forward to hearing all about it then, I will see you soon.” He could hear the pleased tone and the relief.  
“soon.” Xander agreed before hanging up. He glanced at the shop again and then slipped out of the car and headed into the shop, locking up the car before heading inside.  
Four steps in he frowned at how quiet the store was and looked up from looking at his phone to see Riley sitting at the research table looking pained and Giles was standing at the counter cleaning his glasses, and Spike was standing in the entry way that lead to the training room. No one else was in the shop.  
“Where are the girls?” Xander asked looking around again, feeling his stomach knot and sink.  
“They aren't here, they headed out three hours ago headed to LA for a few days shopping trip.” Giles sighed looking up from his glasses. “They didn't tell me that you had asked to see anyone later. I called them an hour later when Spike informed me that you had asked to see everyone tonight but they refused stating that they were already out of town.”   
“I see.” Xander rubbed at his forehead for a moment. “Then I'll just have to get you to pass on the information.” Xander shook his head. “I got a job offer out of town, I've already done two interviews and I have a four month trial starting in a few weeks, it's going to take me that long just to find somewhere to stay, so I'm headed out tomorrow morning.” He met Giles's eyes. “I won't be here to tell them myself and I can't put it off until they get back, I told them that I had something important to tell them and not to skip.” He growled in frustration.  
“Then it is their own fault.” Giles sighed. “Will you be in contact?”  
“As much as I can but the first few weeks are going to be hectic.” Xander shrugged and handed them all a card. “That's for my voice mail, I'll check it as I can but it could be a few days before I get back to you.” He slid his phone into his pocket.   
“You're not keeping your phone number?”  
“Probably not.” Xander shrugged. “I'm not sure I'll be staying in state.” He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “I'm not sure if you were told but I'm adopted, my father gave me up when my mother died he couldn't handle an toddler and three other kids under the age of fifteen at the same time.” Xander explained. “I reached out when I was eight, he to my surprise got back to me, he tried to get custody back when he found out my parents were drunks but the courts denied us both, don't know how that worked, maybe the mayor's handy work.” He sighed. “he was barred from contacting me until I was eighteen, but I wasn't. I sent him monthly letters about my life, I got a few back a few times a year from my brothers behind everyone's backs. As soon as I was of age we've been in weekly contact, he's been pushing for me to leave Sunnydale and has offered me a few different jobs, scholarships anything he could think of to get me to budge.”  
“Why didn't you take him up on his offers?” Giles frowned.  
“I wanted to make my own way. I'm stubborn like that.” Xander sighed.  
“Has this has what to do with you leaving now?” Riley frowned.  
“Not much, but I wasn't sure if you were told. I'm not sure if even Willow remembers, she sometimes gives me funny looks when I'd mention that I'd heard from my father or brothers.”  
“Are you going to see them before your new job starts?” Giles asked.  
“Maybe.” He glanced at Spike letting him know that he wanted a word with him before he disappeared out into the night for his weekly rounds of poker. “You need a ride home Ri? I got a few things to check out before I head out of town.”  
“I'm good.” Ri shook his head. “What if someone asks for a contact number?” He gave Xander a look.  
“Everyone who needs to know has it.” Xander shook his head.  
“And the girls?”  
“They don't know how to ask for help until it's too late.” Xander shook his head. “Willow has my email account if she wants to rant at me she can do it that way.” He shrugged. “Spike that order you've been waiting for showed up, I got it in the trunk if you want to grab it now.”  
“Sure whelp.”   
“I’m sorry to be so short, but I'm angry and disappointed and I'm trying not to take it out on you guys.” He apologised tightly.  
“I understand Xander.” Giles held up his hand to stop him. “I'll tell the girls when they get back...what about Anya?”  
“She knows, we broke up awhile back, she stuck around so I could help her out.” Xander shrugged and headed for the door and paused. “Thanks for everything G-man.” He smiled, gave a little salute and headed out to his car, opening up the trunk as Spike approached and handed him a esky.   
“What is this whelp?” Spike drawled with a raised eyebrow. “I didn't order nothing.”  
“I know, I did when I knew I was leaving.” He lifted the lid revealing bags of blood. “All human, it'll keep you at 100 percent for a few months if you freeze what you don't use, it'll be good for up to three months, just defrost it slowly in warm water.” He closed the lid and handed it over.  
“What do you want for this, whelp?”  
“It's a thank you for helping and for a small favour. My brother disappeared a year or so ago on a classified mission and it's near impossible for those who have high ratings to get any info, they asked me to put the word out to see if I could find anything.” Xander explained quietly. “I know that the demon network has fingers in a lot of pies even if they are highly classified.”  
“His name?”  
“Major John Sheppard, Air Force.” He raised an eyebrow as Spike frowned. “What?”  
“Heard something about that just before we found about the Initiative, a new project was starting at Cheyenne Mountain or had already started there, something about finding something lost for ages.” He took the esky after lighting a smoke. “one of the people who can give you more information is O’Neill that's all I know. But Sheppard was on that mission.”  
“Thanks, if you hear anything else can you leave it on my voice mail?” Xander requested softly.  
“Sure thing Whelp.” Spike nodded.  
“If you run out and get badly hurt, call and I'll get you some more blood within twenty four hours of me getting it.” Xander nodded closing the boot and moved, unlocking his car.   
“You leaving now or in a few hours?” Spike asked.  
“Now, or I'll never get out of here.”   
“Take care of yourself Whelp.” Spike nodded, almost looking lost before he shook it off and disappeared into the shadows.  
Xander slid in behind the wheel, started the engine and started at the magic shop for a long moment before he pulled on his seat belt and returned to his apartment to throw the last of his suitcases into the car, everything else had already been put into storage or sold.  
When the last bag was loaded he hit the road.

**

After a few days stop at Vegas Xander finally pulled into his father's vacation home in Denver, swiping a card he'd been given for his birthday to get through security and parked just off the verandah steps and slid out from behind the wheel.  
He stretched wincing as a few joints snapped, he paused grabbing one of his duffel bags and headed up the steps, used his keys to get in the front door, he closed it, punched his alarm code in to the alarm system and looked around. The house was quiet but Patrick's personal car was in the drive.  
He made his to the study and tapped on the door when he found the man sitting behind his desk.  
“Patrick?”  
“Alexander.” He smiled tiredly. “I wasn't expecting you for another few days.”  
“It was a good drive.” Xander smiled setting his duffel bag on one of the chairs. “I do have some news for you, I'm not so sure that it's good or not.” He leaned on the back of the chair. “I asked around before I left about John and what sort of mission he was on.” He looked over his shoulder as some one walked in and grinned, turning to give the man a bear hug getting a laugh and returned hug. “Matt. It's so good to see you, I wasn't expecting to see you at all with you...”  
“I had leave time.” Matt beamed. “What are you doing here?”  
“He's being asking his contacts about John.” Patrick answered for him. “Since we've been hitting walls.”  
“You have contacts?” Matt looked at Xander with a frown.  
“I have friends who know people, who know people.” Xander shrugged and paused. “David here too?”  
“He'll be here by dinner.” Patrick smiled seeing the delight on his youngest son's face. “So tell us what you've heard...have you eaten?”  
“Yeah but I won't say no to some coffee.” He nodded.  
“Kitchen it is then.” Xander followed the other two men to the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar, accepting the coffee and just breathed it in for a moment.   
“Not much is known, just some huge project was starting just before John disappeared and all my information says he was on it. It was to find something that was lost in ancient times and there wasn't a lot of hope that who ever went on this mission was coming back.” He said bluntly, his face tight. “I also got a name to ask more questions from, he's the only one we should approach if we want answers and not to be buried in paperwork for breaking classifications.” Xander sipped at his coffee as Patrick and Matt settled at the bar as well. “From I heard this man is reasonable, his personable but he will have your ass in a sling if you fuck with him...” He grinned. “Much like our family.”  
“His name?”  
“I only got one and it's a last.” Xander warned. “O'Neill.”  
“Where was this mission taking off from.” Patrick growled. “Cheyenne?”  
“Yeah that's what I got told.”  
“He lied to me.” Patrick snarled throwing his coffee mug and stormed out of the kitchen.  
“He's pissed...” Xander held himself from flinching, yet had a small smirk on his face.  
“He's never raised a hand to us in anger.” Matt said softly. “And yeah, dad hates being lied to, especially about us or our well being.” He leaned back in his seat. “Did you ever meet John after dad found you?”  
“Three times.” Xander nodded, leaning back in his seat. “Met twice in LA and once in Vegas, same place I used to meet you and David.” He smiled. “Always had a great time when I met up with any of you.” He smirked. “Especially when you all smuggled me into the casino's to play.”  
“Shh.” Matt pressed a finger to his lips. “Don't tell dad.” He whispered. “So what's changed since your last letter I got last month?”  
“What did I say in it?” Xander frowned and sipped at his coffee.  
“You were seeing someone but were very careful at not saying a name and that you were very busy dealing with someone's screwed up idea of a science experiment.” Matt shrugged. “Figured you might explain more once we were face to face.”  
“Signed disclosure, I might be able to tell Patrick depending on just how high his rating goes but not you at this point.” Xander shook his head. “I'm not going to prison just to satisfy your curiosity.”  
“I can wait.” Matt nodded in understanding. “And the person you were seeing?” he tilted his head when Xander didn't say anything. “Xan, our whole family has a quiet history of seeing both sexes while we are in service, once we're out we tend to be a little louder but not much.” Matt explained with a smile.  
“DADT, Matt.” Xander sighed softly. “He's still in.”  
“Gotcha.” Matt nodded and then frowned. “What was military doing in your town?”  
“Matt.” Xander frowned at him.   
“Right, gotta wait.” Matt sighed, pouting at him. “I hate waiting.”  
“I think it's a family trait.” Xander shrugged. “Along with the temper, how we see loyalty, family...” He smirked. “And how we see and look after sex.” He glanced at Matt. “So who was yours last night?”  
“A one nighter.” Matt grimaced. “Don't really like them but being active military it's the only way to scratch an itch.” He shrugged. “You know you never said why you and the girl you were seeing broke up...”  
“She wanted some one to look after her, the sex was just a bonus. After we sat down and had a long talk about ten months ago and decide we were better off friends living together until we found someone we wanted to really be with.” Xander shrugged. “Our friends didn't know about it, she covered for me with my guy.” He added softly. He glanced over his shoulder towards the direction their father had gone. “Is he going to calm down before we find out what happened to John?”  
“I don't know.” Matt shrugged. “But it could be awhile.” He gulped down the rest of his coffee. “You staying here or are you going to slip off and find a motel to stay in?”  
“Patrick demanded that if I'm going to be in a hundred miles of him I have to stay in his house.” Xander chuckled shaking his head. “Got the rest of my gear in the car, most of my belongings because I was moving to go for a better paying job.”  
“I'll help you get your things up to your floor.” Matt stood.  
“Floor?” Xander asked slowly getting up to follow Matt out to his car, hauling out four suitcases, two large backpacks and three duffel bags.  
“Each of us has a floor to themselves.” Matt shrugged. “Think of it as an apartment inside a large house.” Matt suggested slinging on a backpack and picked up two duffel bags and then two suitcases, leaving the rest for Xander to collect.  
“House doesn't look big enough for that.” Xander muttered grabbing his things and following Matt.   
“What you see from the front is Dad's wing, at the stairs, left bottom is David's, up is John's, Right bottom is mine and up is yours.” Matt explained leading the way up the stairs and took a right turn, fumbled a door open that led to another hallway and then a few door ways down into a large bedroom with the bathroom off to the side. “This is the main bedroom, those three doors we passed are guest bedrooms for any friends that might stay over, then it's your study/library, lounge/theatre room, guest bathroom, two empty rooms for any hobbies you might have, dad doesn't care how messy it gets you do it there until he knows what you really enjoy doing and then he builds a hobby shed for you.” Matt shrugged as he set the luggage down on the floor near the bed. “Even if all you use it for is to store your things that you can't take with you when you move about as we do.”  
“Are all the houses like this one?” Xander asked a little dazed.  
“The family houses yeah or bigger, the main house in Virginia is bigger.” Matt shrugged it off. “We don't see them much, most of the other houses are just apartments in different cities or smaller homes as we are usually only there a few days at a time.”  
“This is going to take some getting used to.” Xander mumbled.  
“It always takes me awhile to get used to it when I've been away for awhile.” Matt smiled slightly in understanding. “Get settled, nap for a few hours, you look like you could use it and come down for dinner.”  
“Drove straight through, didn't want to stop.” Xander shrugged smothering a yawn.  
“Dad's not going to be up for company until dinner at the earliest, I'm going to be getting a nap myself, I only got in two hours ago myself.” Matt clapped his shoulder before walking out of the room.  
“Nap sounds good.” Xander muttered looking at the large king size double bed and then down at his clothes. “After a shower.” He turned to dig through his suitcases for a change of clothes and his toiletries and went to do just that.

**

After spending a few nights of hitting the clubs with Matt and David and spending most of his days catching up on sleep he found himself getting restless. Since the job that he had lined up to start in a few weeks had fallen through due to a problem with the company, he had to find something else. He knew from driving around the town that there wasn't any construction jobs going, though he had put in a few resumes to be considered when they did have a spot open to be considered.   
“What's wrong Alex?” Patrick asked stepping into the library, watching his youngest son with some concern. “You've been pacing around the house like a caged lion for the last two days.”  
“I'm bored.” Xander admitted his shoulders slumping. “There are no job openings in construction going and I don't have enough saved up from previous jobs to go shopping for things that will keep me out of trouble.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and gave Patrick a sheepish look.  
“What about your trust fund?” Patrick frowned. “You can't have gone through that already in three years.”  
“It's for emergencies.” Xander looked away from him.  
“A bored Sheppard is a bad thing, Alex.” Patrick pointed out with an amused look. “We tend to get into trouble and fights and seriously injured, it's why most of us join the military so we don't get bored.” He eyed him for a moment. “Use your trust fund and get what you want to tinker with, it should keep you busy for awhile, I'm not going to be disappointed if you use it, it's why I gave it to you, you get the rest of it when you turn twenty one.”  
“Rest of it?” Xander looked at him with his eyes widened in shock.  
“That was only a small piece of it.” Patrick nodded. “Just to get you through school and into college if that is your choice.” He smiled. “All my kids get it, though like you they've chosen not to unless they need to, which is something I admit I like, but it doesn't mean that you have to go without if it isn't an emergency.”  
“Right...” Xander took a deep breath. “Guess I'm going shopping then.”  
“If it's going to be a big project then I suggest that you use your shed out back, that way you can make all the noise and mess you like and no one will nag or see it.” Patrick commented before he turned to leave the room. “I'm going to be gone for a few days, Matt returned to duty this morning and David is in Nevada for a few weeks.” He added before disappearing from view.  
“Yeah I saw them off.” Xander called after him before he tilted his head and seriously thought about the idea in his head and ran up to his room to grab his bank card for his trust fund and the keys that David had given him for his hobby shed.  
He headed out the back to find out which on of the five shed's was his and then headed into town to do some serious shopping.

**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It took him three days to sort out everything he had bought onto shelves and wondered if maybe he had over done it a little, plus there were things that were still coming, things that he hadn't been able to buy off the shelf and had to be ordered. But he had everything he needed to put the first piece together without having to wait.  
Another three days of reading manuals and he had made his first computer, everything was top of the line, fresh off the new range that most people wouldn't be able to afford or get their hands on for another few months to a year.   
He was proud of his achievement, everyone who counted had said that he could do it but he had never tried, never saw a point of really trying at anything if he was only going to get verbally slapped down by everyone for it.  
Using text books from the library he began teaching himself everything that had caught his interest, it was harder then he thought it would be but also easier in another way. When he got tired of reading and typing he turned to the pieces he had bought and began putting things together, cameras, monitors, radio's, walkie talkies, starting out with basic things and working his way up to harder more compact and technical things.  
He made sure to head up to the main house every few days to check in, even if no one was home, eat something hot, shower, change his clothes and then sleep in his own bed for the night, before starting all over again.

**

Xander frowned as he walked into the kitchen with a PC touch tablet that he had put together in his hands, absently making himself a cup of coffee and greeting Patrick who gave him an amused look.  
“Damn, Patrick are you any good with programming?” Xander asked in frustration setting his mug down to look at his father.  
“I am, I wasn't aware that you knew it.” Patrick nodded, setting his own mug down.  
“I'm teaching myself.” Xander shrugged and handed over his tablet. “What did I do wrong, I know that there is a mistake because it keeps crashing and glitching.”  
“Let's have a look then...” He took the offered tablet and began scanning through the code on the screen.   
It was then that Xander noticed that Patrick had a guest who was looking at him curiously.  
“Umm, Hi, sorry to interrupt.” He apologised.  
“It's fine, we were just chatting about general things, nothing important.” The silver haired man smiled.  
“Jack this is my youngest, Alexander, he's only been with me for six months, now that the court order has been voided.” Patrick glanced up from the code, introducing them. “Alex this is Jack O'Neill, when he's not being a pain in my ass by keeping secrets or setting unrealistic deadlines, he's a good friend.”   
“O'Neill, as in the one who knows where John is?” Xander raised an eyebrow at the man.  
“That would be me.” He nodded slowly.  
“You get that sorted out?” Xander asked looking at Patrick.  
“Mostly.” Patrick nodded absently and then tilted the tablet so Xander could see and highlighted a section of code. “This is your problem, it's redundant code and is what causing it to crash.” He handed it back to Xander to look at properly. “It's a nice piece of code, what exactly are you working on?”  
“Secret.” Xander grinned shyly at him. “I'll show you if I ever get it finished and it works the way it is supposed to.”  
“I look forward to it then.” Patrick chuckled in amusement.  
Xander picked up his coffee and began walking out.  
“Nice to meet you Jack.” He called as he left the room.  
“He's still finding what he's good at.” Patrick informed Jack.  
“You mean other than getting into trouble like every other Sheppard?” Jack asked in amusement.  
“Besides that yes.” Patrick chuckled.  
Xander shook his head as he left the house, heading back to his shed to fix the mistakes he had made in his coding.  
It took him two weeks to fix it completely to the point that he was happy with it and then turned back to constructing the internals of the computer he was trying to build. He knew that there was a very big chance that it would never work on the scale he was building it but he wanted to see if he could. After all TV shows were great for inspiration.

**

Xander cursed as he jammed his fingers on one of the circuit boards he was connecting to the internals of the machine to help deal with the power flow and help prevent surges.  
“Alex?” Patrick called as the shed door opened. “A registered letter just arrived for you.”  
“Thanks.” Xander slid out from inside what looked like a large rectangle full of computer parts. He wiped his hands on a rag and took the letter Patrick was holding out.  
“This have something to do with the programming you're having me check for the last eight months?” Patrick asked looking it over curiously.  
“Yeah, when I get frustrated working on one I move to the other.” Xander answered absently as he tore the letter open and began reading the letter frowning.

 

'Dearest Xander,  
I know that we've all apologised for ignoring you last year but I still feel a need to say sorry just once more. I hope that you are still having fun, when we last spoke over the net you sounded so content and happy and you near glowed with it. I'm happy that you've found yourself and somewhere you fit in, I know that none of us made it exactly easy for you, me especially, for all that I was supposed to be your best friend and treated you like dirt.  
I look forward to our weekly talks, it shows me that good things can happen even for us.'  
“What the hell are you babbling about Wills?” Xander muttered.  
'I know that you are going to hate us once more, I haven't exactly been truthful about what's been going on around here. Blame me for it, I wanted you somewhere safe and happy, I made everyone go along with me, so you would stay safe.  
Things are really really bad here Xan, I mean people are actually leaving Sunnydale of their own free will, that's how bad. Even some of the others are gone now. We have a plan that's going off in a few days, but you won't get this unless I don't get a chance to put another hold order on it...If I don't make it...  
Xander, there is nothing I can say that will make you forgive me for doing this to you, it should have been your choice to be here with us and help and I took that away from you. I just wanted you safe.  
We don't know exactly what is going on but it seems that the filters around the town are failing, I think that's how we came to the military notice. We are going to try and raise them again, but we aren't sure exactly how it is going to affect the rest of the world or us. If we get this wrong then we won't know it, there will just be a very big crater in the ground...  
It is my hope that if we get this right we'll take the rest of the demons with us and you'll be left with a demon free world, not sure if anyone will remember it though...I don't know what this means for us and I admit that, that is kinda scary. The others agree that this is our only option for stopping what is going on here, our only chance to stop it from taking the rest of the world with it.  
I'm so sorry, Xander. Guess that it makes me selfish that you do something with your life and get to have a normal life.  
I backed up all Giles's books onto a computer and sent it to you, so if needed you will still have resources. I maybe hopeful but things never go exactly how we plan. It's the way things work for us right? I sent a few other things, they should be there in a few days after you get this letter.  
We love you.  
Remember us.  
Willow.  
Buffy.  
Giles.  
Spike.  
Ps. Buffy knocked Riley out and had him taken to LA, he'll probably come looking for you for answers. Sorry about that too. W.'

 

“Oh god, what did you do Willow?” Xander hissed, dropping the letter and rushing to his lap top and tried to connect to Willow's computer only to find no connection. He did a few searches on Google and pulled up a news clip that was showing a large sink hole.

'...For those of you just joining us, a large sink hole caused by a deep underground earthquake has sucked in the town called Sunnydale, three hours out of LA. So far the shock waves haven't been too bad barely rising over 3.6 on the Richter scale. No one is sure how many people manage to get out but officials are saddened to confirm that that more than half the town never got a chance to evacuate and it will days before the ground calms enough for rescue efforts to start.' The camera view changed to a guy in the chopper. 'Officials are asking that if you once lived in Sunnydale to please call the number below so they can mark you off the list of the missing, they are also asking that all questions about survivors please wait at least a week before inquiring...' 

Xander felt his father's hand on his shoulder as the video clip ended, his throat and chest felt tight and his eyes blurred.  
“Breath Alex.” Patrick chided him gently shaking his shoulder and caught him as his knees buckled and great heaving sobs tore from his throat. “I got you.” Patrick murmured in his ear.

**

“Alex?” Xander turned from where he was staring out of the library window, to see Patrick standing next to him, a concerned look on his face. “You have two visitors, military by their looks.”  
He frowned and slowly hauled himself to his feet and followed Patrick out to the foyer and stopped, just staring at them for a long moment before he hurried forward and was wrapped in a three way hug. He closed his eyes tightly against the burning of tears that he couldn't shed any more, he was out of tears, leaving him feeling mostly numb and lost.  
“How you dealing Xander?” Riley asked tiredly as he slowly released them.  
“I'm so pissed at them, told me in a letter.” he murmured hoarsely.  
“Yeah, I wore my temper out on the motel room I woke in.” Riley smiled weakly. “Manager wasn't impressed.” He sighed. “I called Gray as soon as I realised that I wasn't going to get anything out of the officials to find out where you were.”  
“Had about half a dozen heart attacks when I first saw that on the news.” Graham said softly.   
“Any news about those who were still in the town?” Xander asked, wrapping his arms around his waist.  
“They can't dig, the ground is too unstable everything just got sucked in.” Graham shook his head. “They are using the town registry to check off names...did you check in?”  
“Patrick did it.” Xander nodded tiredly.  
“So far over fifteen thousand are unaccounted for.” Graham murmured and Xander winced.  
“That's a third of the town.” He whispered.  
“People didn't want to leave, even with the small tremors we were having, after two bigger ones, a few left.” Riley sighed. “Not enough though. Willow tried to tell your parents to leave but as far as I know they were still drunk in front of the TV.”  
“Sounds about right.” Xander snorted.  
“They weren't accounted for so they are assumed dead.” Graham added.  
“How long are you on leave?” Xander asked.  
“A few days left, it took a few to go get Riley and get here, Riley is coming back with me so...” Graham shrugged. “We'll head and find a motel later, we just wanted to get to you...”  
“I got guest rooms you can use if you want to save some money.” He glanced around the front of the house awkwardly. “It's a big place, plenty of room.”  
“Sure that sounds...” Graham broke off when his cell went off and sighed. “Miller here.” Xander fidgeted as Graham listened his face blank. “Yes, sir.” He hung up. “Bad timing.” He growled. “I've been recalled, sorry, boss man wants me to bring in Ri too.” He looked at Xander. “Next leave is in a few months...”  
“Call and let me know, I'll change the sheets.” Xander gave him a pathetic smile. “Keep in touch yeah?”  
“Will do.” Xander pulled them both in to a hug and reluctantly let them go, walking them out to their car.  
“Gone already?” Patrick asked when Xander entered the kitchen.  
“Got recalled, apparently their commander is an asshole.” Xander shrugged and sighed. “Do you think I'll stop being pissed at them?”  
“In time, eventually it won't hurt to remember then and be easier to remember the better times.” Patrick assured him wrapping him in a hard quick hug.  
“Hope so.” Xander lent into the hug for a moment. “I'm going to drown myself in my work for awhile.” HE released his father and went to walk out back.  
“Just remember to eat at least something once a day and get a few hours sleep, if you don't you'll only get sick.” Patrick warned him. “I speak from experience.”  
“I'll try.” Xander nodded and walked away.

**

“I'm worried about him dad.” Matt sighed from where he was watching Xander in the back yard fighting with his fourth trainer in four months. “All he does is work and fight.” he turned to face his father who was leaning on the counter with a coffee mug in between his hands.  
“I know, he keeps it up and I'm going to run out of trainers for him to knock around.” Patrick sighed, releasing his mug and rubbed over his face. “I'm running out of options, Matt, he's pissed at his friends for not telling him about the earthquakes, send a letter to apologise for not telling him. He has to work that out before he'll calm down.” They both turned to watch again and winced as the trainer hit the ground hard.  
“Tried asking your military friend for a few marines with a bad attitude to take him on?” Matt asked half joking.  
“I'm considering it.” Patrick nodded slowly. “I know where he is coming from and nothing is going to help him bar fighting it out.”  
“Yeah, I get it too.” Matt sighed. “Kinda wish John was here, he was good at calming him down and when words didn't work he'd kick his ass.”  
“John?” Patrick frowned.  
“They met about three times in person that I know about but they always wrote to each other and called.” Matt nodded. “The three times they met up was because Xander was pissed and John fought him down, I tried it a few times but it didn't really work.” He shrugged. “So what have you been working on that has you drooling?” He changed the topic.  
“Something Alex has been working on for just over a year now. He's brilliant at programming and generally anything to do with computers.” Patrick beamed proudly. “From what I can understand of it it's an archive library, every book he's scanning into it, connecting it to the archive and search engines so you can easily find what your looking for, in any language.” He tilted his head. “I don't think that's all it does, it's huge and he's only let me see parts of it to check his programming, most of the time it's nearly over my head.”  
“You should get him to do a PhD.” Matt chuckled at his father's enthusiasm.  
“With his permission I showed a piece of it to a few professors and they liked it, asked him a few questions and then treated it like a thesis for a doctorate and gave him the PhD.”  
“You're shitting me?” Matt gaped at him.  
“It was that good.” Patrick nodded. “He's got one in Computer Engineering too.”  
“So PhD's in Computer Engineering and Programming?”  
“Yep, damn proud I am.”  
“Me too.” Matt blinked a few times. “He good at anything else?”  
“He's doing a Masters in Physics and Aeronautical Engineering. I give him the papers and he gives them back when he's done, but he does know what I am doing.” He shrugged. “Says it gives him something to do.”  
“Is he sleeping?” Matt asked in concern.  
“Four hours a night. It's all I can make him take.” Patrick sighed.  
“Is he passing his physicals?”  
“With flying colours, Doc would prefer he slept another two hours a night and ate a bit more but other wise he's healthy and his body is working perfectly fine with what he is giving it.” He shrugged. “I just keep an eye on him when I'm here...” He smiled faintly. “He knows it too.” He turned his attention back to Xander. “But other then that I am at a loss at what to do to help him...think sending him to John would help?”  
“If you could, yeah he'd kick his ass and put his head back on straight. Those two are really close, I think Xander told him everything and John listened and gave advise if he needed it.” Matt said seriously. “Or gave him someone to rage at when he didn't have something to focus it on.” He frowned. “I sometimes think they saw more of each other then Xander said they did. They officially met up three times, but it makes me wonder if some how Xander managed to sneak in a few visits.”  
“I wouldn't put it past him.” Patrick nodded in agreement.   
“Think you could get him to John?” Matt asked after a long silence.  
“Jack needs a computer person and everyone I've given him to look through hasn't been good enough and they've been some of my best people.” Patrick told him looking thoughtful. “When I asked why he said he was sending some people to help John's base who was having computer problems. If they could get it fixed then they would be able to be in contact more often.” He rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “I sent Alex's resume his way last night with out a name on it asking if that was what he was looking for, I'm waiting for an answer.”  
“He doesn't have clearance.” Matt pointed out.  
“That's easily fixed if they need him that badly.” Patrick shrugged it off and they both turned to face the entry way from the foyer when they heard the front door open and slam shut.  
“You've been holding out on me old man.” Jack scowled holding a folder in his hands.  
“I'm the same age as you, Jack.” Patrick said calmly.   
“What's the name that goes with the resume you sent me?” Jack demanded. “They are nearly perfect for what we need.”  
“They don't have clearance.” Patrick sighed.  
“That's what I need the name for, Patrick, that and to see how soon they can pack.” Jack sighed tiredly. “I got people shipping out tomorrow and I want him on it.”  
“How long will they be gone?” Patrick asked his shoulders slumping.  
“As long as it takes, Patrick, things are a mess there.” Jack huffed. “I can't give you a return date.” Then frowned. “It sounds personal to you.”  
“It is.” Patrick glared at him. “That is Alex's Resume.”  
“Oh.” Jack's shoulders slumped a little.  
“If Alex didn't need his brother so badly I wouldn't have even offered it up.” Patrick stared into his coffee. “Matt assures me that John has calmed Alex down before, a number of times, nothing here is working. If you'd let me I'd send him for just that, give him a few weeks with John and then bring him home...but this is the only way I can get him the help he needs.”  
“He's still pissed?” Jack winced as they all looked out the window to see the trainer once more hit the ground hard, slowly rise to his feet, said something to Xander then grabbed his bag and stalked off stiffly. “How many does that make?”  
“Four, they last about four lessons.” Patrick sighed. “I don't think a straight up fight is going to work, it hasn't yet.”  
“He's grieving, at least he isn't taking it out at bars and getting into fights.” Jack pointed out.  
“That's how he started. I had to go bail him out, I suggested training.” Patrick replied dryly.  
“Ah.” Jack sighed. “Basic timeline right now is six months just to get the basics fixed and running, if he's as good as this reads then he might manage it in four or five but I'm not holding my breath.”  
“Ask him.” Patrick said finally. “Ask him if he wants to go, if you tell him John is there he might go, I won't hold him back.” He turned and stalked off.  
“This part always makes me feel like the bad guy.” Jack muttered before he walked out the backyard.

**

Xander wiped his face and neck, tossing a water bottle hand to hand.  
“Alex, can we talk?” Jack asked as he approached.  
“Most people can.” Xander shrugged. “Find it quite natural really.”  
“Funny.” Jack smirked. “Got an offer for you, I need someone with your computer skills for John's base, their computers are a mess and they've only been patching or bypassing things, it needs to be actually fixed.”  
“And Patrick said?” Xander raised an eyebrow at him.  
“He sent me the resume and told me to ask you, said he wouldn't stand in your way if you wanted to go.” Jack sighed.  
“How long?” Xander frowned.  
“Six months minimum.”  
“I'm in the middle of two Masters and four projects I can't just abandon them for six months.” Xander scowled.  
“I can get your Master's work to you, so you can work on it, your projects, well unless they are under five hundred pounds not much I can do there.”  
“Five hundred pounds?” Xander asked in confusion.  
“That's how much weight a person is allowed to take with them, personal luggage.” Jack explained. “To be honest we don't know what you are going to need, their systems are odd and more advanced them what we have here.” he fidgeted a little. “What I gave you to play with a few weeks ago, that was a small piece of their computer systems.”  
“How long do I get to think on it?” Xander asked sighing.  
“Others going ship out tomorrow morning at six am, and it's going to take me ten hours to get your clearance through.”  
“Then give me three hours then call Patrick for my answer.” Xander said before turning and stalking to his shed. “That will give you twelve hours to do the paper work if I go.” He buried himself in adding some more pieces to his computer station, he didn't look up from where he was bent over the side of it, his arms deep inside as his shed door opened up a little while later.  
“Is there anyone else here that could get you calmed down?” Patrick asked finally when Xander didn't say anything.  
“He's good at it.” Xander grunted out before slowly standing up straight a small wrench in his hand. “And no, no one else has been able to do it. He's been doing it since we first met up again.”  
“He always could get you to calm down, even as a child.” Patrick sighed. “Do you want to go? If John wasn't there would you still go?”  
“Probably.” Xander nodded. “I can probably help, their systems are amazing.” Xander finally looked at him, and Patrick saw for life in his eyes for the first time in months. “Just that small piece of code you got me to look at was...” He tried to find a word. “Mind blowing.” He lent against the shell of the computer station. “It's dangerous there isn't it?”  
“Deadly.” Patrick nodded stiffly. “If I could I'd send Matt with you so you'd have someone to watch your back, even though the thought of sending more of my sons there fills me with dread, at least you'd have someone else there to talk to. John's bound to be busy, he's in command there.”  
“He said he never wanted command.” Xander pulled a face.  
“True, but he seems to have it either way.” Patrick smiled painfully. “He's probably going to throw a fit when he finds out you're are there.” He smiled a little more wistfully. “You are after all the baby and to be protected.”  
“John knows I can look after myself, but I'll probably get scowled at and a few lectures.” Xander shrugged.  
“So do you want to go?”  
“Jack seems to think that I can help.” Xander nodded slowly. “God knows what they are going to do with me if they find out that Jack's wrong.”  
“Hopefully send you home at the first chance possible.” Patrick sighed. “Just come home in one piece and listen to John.”  
“I always listened to John.” Xander murmured looking down at his project. “Wish I could take this with me, it'd give me something do during my free time.” He then looked over to his other shelves. “Gonna have to find something that weights about three hundred pounds, leaves me with a hundred for clothes and a spare hundred...”  
“Most of your clothes will be supplied, you'll be in uniform most of the time.” Patrick informed him. “I don't even think you own a hundred pounds worth of clothes.”  
“True, just a few changes and training clothes then.” He began rummaging through his shelves.   
“Take a few tablets with you, fill a few with what ever you are studying and reading and another two or three that are empty that you can work with.” Patrick suggested. “Jack will be here soon with three crates for you to fill with what you need.” Patrick sighed. “Matt offered to help you pack suitable clothes.”  
“No doubt he's staring in horror at my wardrobe right now then.” Xander smirked shaking his head. “What name did I get my PhD's under?”  
“Your birth name.” Patrick told him wryly.  
“So I'll be called Dr Sheppard.” He wrinkled his nose. “Guess it's better then Dr Harris.”  
“Xander what happened to all your clothes?” Matt demanded as he hurried in. “You have nearly no clothes!”  
“They wore out or got badly stained.” Xander shrugged. “I haven't gotten around to replacing them. I was busy with my projects.”  
“We got to take you shopping, or you won't be wearing anything but your gi or uniform.”  
“Nothing wrong with that.” Xander shrugged. “Few t-shirts and jeans will do me and another pair of boots.”  
“Dad!” Matt pouted.  
“You know he isn't going to let you drag him out.” Patrick said dryly. “You know his sizes, you know what can and can't be worn on military bases, go get him what he needs.” Patrick suggested.  
“Solid colours.” Xander glared at him. “I looked awful in that blue and white striped thing you bought me last year.”  
“You not coming means that you can't veto anything.” Matt pointed out before he hurried off. “Last shed on the right sir.” They heard Matt say.  
“Alex, Patrick.” Jack nodded in greeting as he set down three large crates. “Matthew looked rather happy.”  
“He's going to get Alex some clothes, apparently Alex hasn't been replacing them as he's ruined them.” Patrick drawled.  
“Ah.” Jack grinned. “Right then, this is for your stuff.” He pointed down at the crates. “You don't have to weight everything, it can only hold two hundred and twenty pounds before the bottom falls out.” He warned.  
“Noted.” Xander nodded, snagging one, flipped off the lid and began packing different things in carefully.  
“The smaller one will be your carry on, anything you might need on hand for the trip.” He pointed to the large backpack.  
“How long does it take?”  
“Usually about two weeks, but everyone going tomorrow is on the urgent need now list so they are going the fast way, it takes a lot of power, that we've been storing up for months for this trip.” Jack explained. “So you won't really need a carry on but it will probably get to your room before the rest of your things.” He eyed Xander for a moment. “I recommend that you take Coffee beans and chocolate for bribes or to trade for something that you need, those are really rare there, not as rare as it used to be but it's still something that they have to ration.” He glanced at Patrick. “It's getting better now that we can get supplies to them more often, but someone keeps changing their supply orders on this end...I'm trying to catch them and then their head will roll.” He muttered something under his breath. “I'm about to fire the whole department.”  
“sounds like you need to spend a few months on base to chew some ass's in person again.” Patrick said dryly.  
“Yeah, it's why I'm doing this personally.” Jack nodded. “Or I'd be buried in paperwork in DC again.” He shuddered. “He needs to be on base tonight or no later then 0300 to go through medical before he goes.” he changed the subject.  
“I'll bring him in at 1900.” Patrick nodded.

**

Xander stood in the gate room, backpack strapped firmly to his back, holding two of his tablets, a few changes of uniform, spare shoes, a few packs of beef jerky he liked to chew on while he was working, a few flash drives that Patrick had given him to work on and a few pictures that Matt had given him when they had dropped him off last night.  
The gate room was packed full of trolleys loaded with crates of their belongings and supplies that were needed and a hundred people waiting to go.  
At six on the dot the gate began to dial and he stared at the water looking circle that formed for a moment.  
“Everyone grab a trolley and walk through, it's perfectly safe.” Someone ordered. “We don't have a lot of time to get all this through.”   
He watched as the first twenty people and trolleys disappeared into the water like substance. He grabbed his own trolley and walked through, when he stepped out onto a futuristic looking place a few moments later he shuddered and followed the call some of the soldiers were doing, handing off his trolley and moved into a room where the others who had walked in ahead of him were waiting.  
Twenty five minutes later two soldiers and two scientists walked.  
“Those of you who are to work with the scientists please follow Dr McKay and Dr Zelenka for your lecture on how not to be an idiot and blow us up.” The Major called out.  
Xander and twenty other people followed the other two men. He listened staring in disbelief at some of the things that people had done that had nearly got them all killed more than once which made it even harder to believe.   
“Everyone here pulls their own weight, I don't care if you don't like your assignment or think it is beneath you. Do it and do it right and don't try to pawn it off onto someone else, those who don't pull their own weight will be out of here immediately and if there isn't transport available you will wait in the brig until it is.” McKay scowled at them all. “I don't have time for stupid people or think they know it all. Here the rules change, so try not to get anyone else killed while you learn just how different. First rule is don't touch anything unless you have been told too by me or Zelenka, don't turn anything on unless you are told to by us and if you don't know what it is, don't touch, poke or nudge until it has been cleared. The most innocent looking thing here can prove to be deadly, we've learned this by experience, don't let it become yours. For the first month here until you learn where you are going and what you are doing you will be paired up with a more experienced person. Your assignment is on that board along with your room number, your partner will show you the way.” He paused looking over them tiredly. “If you can't handle it here tell us and we will arrange for you to transfer back home, in case you didn't understand in your briefings this is a war zone, it is deadly, stressful and painful.”  
“Cross your name off as you take the flash drives off the board, so we know who didn't make it this trip.” Zelenka added at that sudden silence. “It currently lunch, you start work tomorrow. So Settle, unpack and be ready for work 0700 tomorrow.”  
Xander sat back and waited for the crush of people to grab their assignments and bolt with their partner before heading up to claim his.  
“If you're not related to Colonel Sheppard I'll eat my socks.” McKay stated in surprise when he noticed him as he pulled his flash drive off the board, crossing off his name and noting the room number.  
“I'm sure your mouth is thankful that it doesn't have to eat your socks then.” Xander drawled, raising an eyebrow at him.  
“He didn't say that anyone in his family was coming.” McKay frowned.  
“He didn't know.” Xander shrugged.  
“You know he's going to blow a gasket, right?” McKay stated.  
“I expect it.” He nodded. “I don't have an assigned partner.” He jerked his thumb at the board.  
“What's your speciality? Everyone's files haven't caught up with them yet.” McKay sighed, rubbing at his face. “I ran out of people to pair up.”  
“Computer Engineering and Programming.” He pulled a flash drive out of his pocket and held it out for McKay to take. “O'Neill says Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.” He added as McKay and Zelenka both gaped at him for a long moment.  
“Oh please let this not be a joke.” McKay breathed snatching the flash drive and plugged it into his tablet, quickly scanning through the data.  
“No joke, O'Neill nearly got on his knees to beg me and father to let me come.” Xander shrugged.  
“Is Christmas?” Zelenka asked McKay after a moment.  
“A very good one, Radek.” McKay beamed at Xander. “He's the only one that passed over half of our tests for our systems.”  
“Excellent.” Zelenka grinned. “Maybe now we find main computer core, yes?”  
“You haven't found it yet?” Xander blinked not sure he had understood right.  
“No, you can access nearly anything from most terminals, we know that there is a large coding problem in the core but we can't find it.” McKay sighed shaking his head. “I actually wasn't holding out much hope that we'd get someone like you or if we did it wouldn't be for another few months.” McKay beamed again. “But first lets show you to your quarters and you should let John know you are here before he hears about it later or sees you wondering about. He's off duty today, which is good for you.”  
“Not really I was hoping to avoid the lecture for awhile.” Xander sighed.  
“Not going to happen, He'll have the list with in the hour of who arrived.” McKay warned Leading him through what he soon found out was a city and thought that the transporters were rather neat. He memorised the route they took and unclipped and slid his backpack off onto the narrow single bed, caught sight of a bathroom, wardrobe, desk and about four feet of spare space.  
“Is there a bigger desk that I can steal? I brought a few projects with me to keep me out of trouble.” Xander asked taking in the room.   
“No, we used the last of them to fill up everyone's rooms that arrived today.” McKay shook his head.  
“Hmm, I'll figure something then.” Xander shrugged and pulled off the flack vest he had been made to wear and smoothed down his scientist uniform. “Where can John be found on his day off?”  
“If he's not pestering me, or in his room he's in the gym training the newbies or working off his temper with some of his team mates.” McKay informed him, pressed something in his ear and queried John's location. “He's in the Gym for the next hour.”  
“Even better.” Xander smirked, grabbing two arm long staffs. “I can get the scolding and lecture at the same time.”  
“You fight?” McKay raised an eyebrow.  
“Long story, but the short version is that John's the only one who can control me and my temper.”  
“Are you saying that you were sent out here to be disciplined because no one on Earth can?” McKay asked incredulously.  
“No, dad sent me out here to calm down, save my life and to prevent me getting bored.” Xander shrugged and followed McKay down to the gym. He lent against the wall with the other soldiers, a few were being tended, wounds being wrapped, while another soldier went through his paces with John who barely looked winded. Xander let his eyes roam over his brother and smiled faintly. “He looks good, I haven't seen him this good in a long time.” He murmured to McKay.   
“When was the last time you saw him?” McKay murmured back.  
“About a year before he came here, he wasn't in a good headspace and wasn't really impressed that he'd had to come and whoop my ass again.” He winced as the soldier landed on the mat hard, dropping the sticks he was holding, as he spoke he removed his shoes and socks.  
“Anyone else?” John drawled.  
“That's my cue.” Xander pushed off the wall, staffs in hand and weaved through the few soldiers until he was standing on the edge of the mats. He bowed as John just stared at him, his body stiffening and he growled.  
“What the hell are you doing here?” He demanded.  
“You want the official reason or the unofficial reason?” Xander drawled, stepping on to the mats properly.  
“Both.” John snapped.  
“I'm your new Computer Engineer and Programmer, I very nearly got begged.” He shrugged carelessly and they began circling each other, each gripping and easily spinning the small staffs they held.  
“And the unofficial reason?” John growled.  
“You know why.” Xander smirked at him and attacked. They traded blows back and forth with ease and speed, blocking or taking the hits, punches or kicks as they came. As soon as he hit the mat he was back on his feet a moment later.  
The eighth time he hit the mat he was soaked in sweat, trembling, blood dribbled down his face from his split lip and a cut on his forehead, as he tried to get to his feet again, John knocked his feet out from under him and pressed his foot down firmly against his throat for a moment.  
“You stay down.” He snapped and then looked around the now silent gym. “Clear this room.” He barked.  
Xander wasn't surprised that a minute later the room was empty bar McKay and a guy who looked like a doctor. He closed his eyes that were burning with tears as he released his hold on his staffs, which were quickly taken off him and felt John walk away from him.  
“Come on, up ye get lad, let's get you looked at.” A kind soft male voice coaxed him, gently touching his shoulder.  
“Don't Carson.” John said wearily. “Let him calm down, when he sits up he's ready to deal.”  
“How do you know the lad?” Carson asked, his voice moving away from Xander.  
“He's my youngest brother.” John sighed.  
“What was that?” McKay demanded. “That was not brotherly concern, more like you two trying to kill each other.”  
“Xander has a temper, a bad one when it's triggered.” John explained tiredly and hissed a moment later. “It doesn't fade until he's calmed down, he used to go out to bar brawls or street fights to control it. It didn't take me long to figure out that I'm pretty much the only one he will listen to when he's that far gone and can work him down, which was what you just saw.” He hissed again. “That stings, Carson.”  
“You won't need stitches.” Carson noted. “Nothing else worked? No one else?”  
“Nothing.” John sighed. “Once I found that out I'd go out and see him once or twice a year to work him back down so he could think and feel again.” He went quiet for a few moments. “It's been almost two years since I last saw him, I'm hoping that he hasn't been carrying this around all that time.”  
Xander felt the tears drying on his cheeks and slowly, shakily got to his knees, hands on his thighs.  
“Hey buddy.” John knelt beside him. “I'm glad to see you but I really wish you weren't here.” He reached out and gently clasped his shoulder. “How long?”  
“Nearly six months.” Xander whispered, his voice rough. “Nothing I tried or dad tried worked, I went through four professional trainers in four months...”  
“You tried that's what counts.” John soothed him, softly. “I just wish we could find something that worked other than just me.” As he spoke he gently probed Xander's ribs, shoulders and arms and then helped him to his feet. “Get patched, shower and change, I'll come to you and you can tell me what happened this time and what dad was thinking letting you come here.”  
Xander nodded and sat beside the Doctor on a near by bench and patiently bore his gently touches as he was cleaned up and patched up.  
“Bit harsh weren't you?” McKay asked John softly.  
“No, it's the way this thing works, god do I wish something else worked for him.” John stretched carefully. “I'll fill you in on Alexander Sheppard later, after catch up on the last two years of his life and what set him off.”  
“Dr Sheppard now, twice over.” McKay told him dryly.  
“Good on him.” John grinned, wincing as his lip split again. “He was always convinced that he was an idiot, normal and couldn't do anything right.”  
“And how did he get that low self esteem, considering your ego.” McKay frowned.  
“Xander wasn't raised by us after he was three years old he was fostered out, mum died and Dad couldn't handle us all, somewhere in there he some how got adopted. Xander found Dad when he was eight and reached out. When Dad found out that they were drunks he took them to court to get custody back but for some reason he was denied and then barred from contacting him again.” John explained quietly.  
“That's can't be legal?” McKay frowned. “He didn't appeal?”  
“Every six months but was always denied. Xander was smart, he wasn't denied contact, he sent month letters to us all, he used to sneak away and meet us in LA for a day when we were on leave.” He smiled slightly. “When he turned eighteen I used to get weekly letters, but for some reason he wouldn't leave, I tried to talk him to going into college just before I left but he said he was too stupid to go.” He huffed. “He got a ranting letter back for that one, the last letter I got said he'd give it another year and then depending on how things went he'd probably leave, that was the last I heard.”  
“Any dizziness lad?”  
“I’m good, Doc.” Xander shook his head.  
“Here, ice those bruises after you get out of the shower, and don't make it too hot.” Carson advised handing him an ice pack. “Take it easy for the rest of the day, your just bruised, but any sharp pains head to the infirmary.”  
“Will do Doc.” He nodded and limped out of the gym back to his room. He showered, changed, tossing his uniform into the hamper in the bathroom and began unpacking his things as his three crates had arrived.  
He had just finished, leaving his tinkering gadgets in it's crate near the desk when John arrived and sat down on the bed.  
“Alright let's hear about the last two years.” John said sitting down next to him.  
Xander got comfortable and began talking.

**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Xander spent the next week getting shown around by Zelenka and McKay when they were free and being followed by John's second Major Evan Lorne. At night when John got off duty he spent two hours with him talking over things that had happened since they had last seen each other and Xander slowly found himself calming under John's understanding looks and advice. Sometimes they went down to the gym when it was empty and trained but it didn't go all out again, which got him a grin from John.  
For another week he spent tracking the data of corrupt code, unscrambling it, rewriting it or working it on the fly until he came to a burnt out console at the very bottom of the main tower. It took him nearly a week of changing out the circuits and the crystals before he got a little bit of power back into it and began scrolling through the data that appeared.   
He glanced over his shoulder at Major Lorne, still curious about the rather quiet man.  
“So what did you do to get babysitting duty?” Xander asked out of the blue, searching for the dock that all the consoles had to plug in his tablet to be able to read the data better.  
“Cracked ribs.” Lorne gave a slight shrug. “It was you or McKay and you seemed quieter even if you can kick your brother's ass.”  
“Already got around did it?” Xander snorted in amusement.  
“Well the Sheppard surname kinda helped and the way you two look like each other.” He looked around the empty room. “So what was with the ass kicking the first day here? If you don't mind me asking.”  
“I have a temper, once it is hooked and burning, John's the only one who can take me down and calm me.” Xander shrugged. “Dad was at his wits end trying to help but in the end he arranged for me to come here, my skills were an incentive for General O'Neill send me and not complain about it, he nearly begged me to go.” He finally found the port and plugged his tablet in and could finally see the data clearing and being scanning through it again. “I nearly didn't come, I knew that John would be pissed that I showed up in a war zone even if it was to help.”  
“Why? you know how to fight.” Lorne frowned.  
“Because I'm the baby brother.” He grinned at Lorne over his shoulder. “I'm not even twenty one yet.”  
“When are you twenty one?” Lorne winced.  
“Three months.”  
“Not yet twenty one and you already have two PhD's?” He raised an eyebrow.   
“And two Masters in the works.” Xander nodded. “It keeps me from getting bored, when I'm not building something or programming.” He shrugged.  
“So you got the Sheppard smarts then?”  
“And the smart mouth.” Xander smirked at him getting a chuckle.   
“So why does John hide his?”  
“He likes to be underestimated and thought an idiot, people rarely plan for an idiot to unravel your evil plans or to expose plots.” He shrugged. “Being seen as an idiot is sometimes as good as being invisible.”  
“True.” Lorne nodded in agreement.  
“Damn this isn't it either.” Xander cursed. “I would have through that the main computer system would be at the centre of everything so the logical place would be here right?” He frowned at his tablet. “It's well protected, double shielded, insulated...so if it isn't here where would I hide it?”  
“Why hide it? I mean for all that the Ancients were advanced they didn't seem all that smart.” Lorne commented.  
“I don't think they built Atlantis, at least not completely.” Xander frowned looking around the empty room. “If they had I don't see them abandoning it for anyone to find, I don't think they had a choice but to leave and not because of the siege.”  
“What makes you say that?” Lorne frowned.  
“I found some files that I passed on to the others, most state that the order was given to leave and for awhile the council fought the order but in the end complied.” Xander answered absently. “If the council didn't give the order, then who did?”  
“That's a good question considering from what I understand that the council was the ruling body, what they said went.”  
“Exactly.” Xander nodded. “So who had power over them?”  
“There isn't anything we've found that says there was anyone above them.” Lorne said slowly.  
“So who gave the order?” Xander looked at him.  
“huh.” Lorne blinked a few times in surprise and confusion.  
“I'm hoping that question will be answered when I finally find the computer core.” He huffed. “I just have to find the bloody thing first.” He set his tablet down on the corner of the console and let his fingers fly over the keys. “Come on sweetheart what are you trying to show me here?” He murmured. “Or do I have to fix the console some more to get an answer?” He wasn't all that surprised when the console lighting dimmed a little, flickered a few times and then went back to it's pitiful brightness. “I hear ya, sweetheart, it shouldn't take me long.”  
“You talk to your machines that your fixing?” Lorne asked in amusement.  
“Sure, most people just swear at it when it doesn't work right, I find that some times a nice gentle tone coaxing it to work for just a little while and a nice heavy wrench works too.” Xander threw Lorne a smirk as he burst out laughing.  
“Alex where are you?” John's voice asked over his radio.  
“Bottom of the main tower fixing a console why?” Xander answered.  
“The scanners can't find you that's why, anyway Radek finally finished your fix-it trolley.” John informed him and then appeared a few minutes later. “Radek said that this should have everything you need to put a terminal and a console back together, maybe four before you need to restock.” He added pushing in a two foot wide and four foot long trolley with four shelves standing at chest high.  
“Good timing, this console needs major work.” Xander grinned at him.  
“So is this it?” John asked looking around the badly lit room and even worse lit console.  
“No, it's not, I need to put this console back together to find out where I'm headed next.” Xander shook his head, turning to quickly search the trolley and then began pulling panels off the bottom of the console and removing black and milky white crystals, replacing them with new clear ones. “Hey John, you saw the impressive shielding on this place...”  
“Yeah I thought maybe that's why you had spent so much time down here that you had finally found the core.” John looked around the room with his torch.  
“Apparently not, but there is something here that she wants us to find and not just for me to fix this.” He pointed to the console. “So what would you hide here or protect here where it can't be picked up from the rest of the city?”  
“Plenty of things, weapons, safe haven address's...”  
“You're thinking human, John.” Xander rolled his eyes. “Don't think arrogant all powerful ancient, think self protection, worried about what might happen if it got in the wrong hands sort of thinking.”  
“Ah...okay...” John frowned looking around the room again, even walked the perimeter and ran his hands over the walls. “This is like the other walls, it's not smooth, they're like blocks...sealed draws maybe?” he turned to look at Xander still frowning.  
“Okay, now out of all the tech that you know this place uses, what would you hide in there to keep it safe, but still be able to get to it if needed?” Xander stripped out a few wires causing the console to go dark and replaced them, it wasn't until he had them all in place that it lit up to full brightness, along with the room. “There, that should do it, darling.” He murmured putting the panels back in place and then began replacing pieces of the actual console top.   
“Oh...” John's face went blank for a moment and then it was filled with hope. “Maybe...” He looked at Lorne. “Power modules...” He whispered. “If there were a few of them they would put off a lot of power readings but in here they wouldn't register...” He looked around the room and spotted a small hand size light in the corner of the room and hurried to it and pressed his palm to it.  
Nothing happened for a moment and his shoulders slumped and then one of the draws hissed and slid out of the wall revealing a large yellow glowing crystal. He walked to the draw slowly and tentatively reached out and gently lifted the crystal from it's draw, just staring at it. As soon as it was free the draw retracted and sealed back into place.  
“How many do you think are still in here?” Lorne asked in a hoarse voice.  
“When John opened the draw it opened up a new file that I couldn't get into before.” Xander said, his fingers flying over the keys, his eyes on the screen he'd just replaced. “John...” He looked up with a smile. “They are full, there is even instructions on how to install them after there has been a long period without power. You add one a week so the power flow can adjust it's self.”  
“Full?” John's voice broke as he looked at the wall. “They were here all this time?”  
“Because of the console damage the self preservation and protection mode of this room didn't disengage.” Xander added quietly a moment later.  
“I need to...” John looked down at the power module again and reached for his radio. “McKay meet me in the power room.”  
“Sheppard are you alright? You sound...odd.” McKay answered sounding concerned.  
“Power room now.” John turned and hurried out of the room.  
“You need to do anything else in here?” Lorne asked after a long moment.  
“I'll be here for a few hours yet, I have to track the data.” Xander informed him. “Find out where I am headed next.” He glanced at Lorne. “You need to be somewhere?”  
“It's dinner time, Xander.” Lorne pointed out with an amused look. “We missed lunch and my stomach is starting is starting to rumble. I'm not leaving you down here by yourself, John would have my head and you need to eat, if you really want to keep working we can come back after we've eaten.”  
“I can't leave now, I'll lose where I am and have to start all over again.” Xander shook his head. “It will take me hours to get back to where I currently am, I'll have wasted a day.”  
“I wouldn't call what you've found today a waste, Xander. Finding the Power Modules is a find of a life time, let alone so many.” Lorne pointed out softly.   
They glanced up when the power dimmed around the room for a moment and then stabilised, even as the city gave a small shudder as if stretching a bit and settled back down.  
“Give it another two weeks and the city will be back at full strength.” Xander murmured, his hands never left the console.  
“It's going to be a bit embarrassing having so much power after not having it for so long.” Lorne muttered to himself. “Add in the large supply we just got and it's an embarrassment of riches.”  
“I'm sure someone will find something to complain about.” Xander snorted in amusement.

**

Xander set his tablet down rubbing at his eyes as the coding he was reading kept blurring and then glared at the console he was working.  
“Now you are just plain being mean.” He muttered and let out a huff of breath.  
“Something wrong?” Evan asked from where he was sitting in a fold up chair working on his paperwork on his own tablet.  
“The damn system is being mean and teasing me, I think.” Xander sighed sitting up and stretching his back.  
“It's not like it's sentient Xan.” Evan chuckled shaking his head.  
“I'm not so sure about that.” Xander murmured looking down at the console again with a curious and thoughtful look on his face. They both looked up as two soldiers walked in looking cautious.  
“Stackhouse, Markham, is there is a problem?” Evan inquired setting his tablet aside and stood.  
“You couldn't be raised on the radio, Sheppard asked us to make sure you were alright down here.” Stackhouse answered.  
“Oh.” Evan frowned. “Xan? There something in here to cause that?”  
“Yeah there's a dead zone out here, a few of them around the city, it's on McKay's repair list of things to get done.” Xander nodded. “Though I didn't think it started here, or I would have warned you.”  
“Sheppard need me for something?” Evan turned his attention back to his team.  
“Yeah, asked us to watch Dr Sheppard while you were gone.” Markham nodded.  
“Alright, piece of advice, don't call him Dr Sheppard, he keeps looking around for his father if you do.” Evan chuckled bending to pick up his tablet. “And he talks to himself.”  
“He eaten?” Stackhouse inquired.  
“An hour ago, he's got beef jerky that he nibbles on, he usually breaks for dinner around seven-thirty, just remind him of the time.” Evan informed them then looked at Xander. “Got to head, I might not get back before you head for the night, so I'll see you in the morning, probably.”  
“Sure and tell John he's a motherhen.” Xander smirked at him, getting muffled snickers from the two new soldiers.  
“No thanks I value my life and my rank.” Evan snorted before heading out.  
Xander turned his attention to the console and glared at it. “Do you know if the rest of the city has been opened up for exploring and repairs?” He turned in his seat to look at the two men.  
“Some of it, not all of it. It still has to be searched and cleared, we don't want a chance of someone unprepared finding a hibernating wraith.”  
“Yeah, not on my list of things to do.” Xander shuddered, he'd seen the videos, heard the lectures and lived through two attempted invasions.  
“Where you need to head next?”  
“According to this I am needed in the power room I think and two levels above the control room.” He frowned. “There isn't a level above the offices right?”  
“Not that we've found.” Stackhouse frowned as well. “But then there are many places that we've found that we swore weren't there the first time we went through.” He shrugged. “Those are clear, where do you want to go first?”  
Xander tapped a few glyphs on the console asking which was more urgent, then picked up his tablet, unhooking it from the console, stood and picked up his small folding chair and smiled as Markham grabbed the one Evan has been using.   
“Power room.”  
“That's the room with the power modules right?” Markham inquired.  
“Yeah, something in the system is glitching there, I want to get it fixed before the last module is introduced.” Xander nodded as they entered the nearest transporter and Stackhouse hit the location they wanted to go and after a bright flash they exited and headed into the area that McKay had dubbed engineering.  
“Why are you here?” McKay looked up and frowned.  
“System is reporting glitches, I wanted to fix them before the last module was put in.” Xander answered looking around the room and then looked down at his tablet, typing in a few commands before looking around again and headed for an area that was full of stacked boxes and pushed his way through and then gave a small cry of triumph.  
“It shouldn't be, it was reporting perfectly two days ago.” McKay growled.  
“Then I'd start confiscating laptops and find out who has been playing with the programming, because it is badly glitching now.” Xander called back, then paused. “Guys was a trolley in the room before we left the last level?” He asked sounding confused.  
“No sir.” Markham answered.  
“Damn, where the hell did I leave it then.” He cursed. “Need to put a damn tracker on the damn thing with the amount of times I lose it.”  
“I saw it in the main control room, Alex.” Radek called out.  
“Why is it there? I haven't been there!” Xander exclaimed.  
“You were there two days ago, Xander.” McKay reminded him with a chuckle.  
“I was?” Xander peeked around the boxes.  
“The room with lots of consoles and the gate?” McKay drawled.  
“Oh there, I got to head back there, I haven't finished fixing one of the consoles.” Xander nodded slowly with a frown.  
“Front ones or the back ones?” Radek inquired looking up from his laptop.  
“Back ones, it wasn't an in use one, but it's for external senses around the city.”  
“Explains why we had to program our own then.” McKay muttered.  
“I'll do that when I'm done here.” he disappeared behind the boxes.  
“Do you need you trolley?” Stackhouse inquired. “I can go get it, if you do.”  
“Yeah I'm going to need it to replace a few things.” Xander answered sounding distracted. “Thanks.”

**

Xander muttered as he changed a few burnt out crystals in the console in the main control room, there were only a few people in the room, the rest were off duty getting ready to head to bed for the night. Where he should be, but it had taken him longer then he had liked to fix the glitching in the power room.  
“Shouldn't you be in your room winding down, Xan?” John's voice inquired slowly getting louder as he came up the stairs.  
“And you are still a mother hen, John.” Xander remarked, ignoring the few snickers he got for the comment.  
“Not finished then.” John drawled, smirking.  
“Nearly.”  
“What caused the problems in engineering?” He asked leaning against the console that Xander was fixing.  
“You know it's not really engineering right?” Xander asked. “I mean there is nothing there that's for the star drive or the thrusters that keep us floating.” He pointed out.  
“Yeah I know, you geek.” John chuckled. “So the problem?”  
“A new program that McKay and Radek were trying to implement into the system, the system didn't like it and ate half the programming to prevent it going on line.” Xander reported, slotting in the four new crystals.  
“Was it dangerous to the city? I've noticed that the city has a self preservation programming, and will prevent anything from working if it's a threat.” John tilted his head.  
“Not a threat but what they were trying was already in the system else where, once I cleaned up the mess I pointed that out to them.” Xander shook his head as he closed up the console and rose to his feet, and smiled as the console lit up. “Done. I swear that half this city doesn't listen when the computer tries to tell them something, they ignore a lot of the warnings and it's starting to piss the city off.” He sighed. “Which is why a lot more things are suddenly breaking down, it's trying to get your attention.” He began putting his tools away and looked at John who was studying him carefully.  
“You think the city is sentient.” John stated softly.  
“I do, I've seen too much that goes beyond programming for it not to be.” Xander nodded.  
“McKay said I was seeing things or imagining things, so I kept my thoughts to myself.” John admitted quietly, looking around the control room.  
“How long have you suspected?” Xander asked turning to look at him properly.  
“Since we arrived.” John sighed rubbing a hand over his hair. “I'm not the only one.”  
“John remember a few years ago, I told you that you were an idiot?” Xander asked with a small grin.  
“Yeah, I can't recall what for though.” John frowned trying to pull the memory up.  
“You ignored your instincts, and you're doing it again.” Xander shook his head. “Half of what I've been doing here I'm running on instinct, half the time I'm sure that they city is working through me.” He glanced up at the offices above them. “You ever found another level beyond them?” He jerked his head to the offices.  
“No, why?”  
“They city gave me another area to fix, a level above them.”  
“Then let's go prod and poke until we find it.” John grinned.  
“Let's.” Xander beamed, pushing the trolley in front of him as they headed up stairs.  
“Here's a part of problem that I've been turning over in my head.” John murmured as they began carefully studying the walls looking for gaps and indents that would mark a door. “If the city is sentient, why hasn't it spoken up since we've added more power? Does it have an interactive AI that is just damaged and can't speak?”  
“The city does speak John, just not directly.” Xander pointed out gently. “Have you ever just suddenly felt a need to be somewhere?”  
“A few times.” John nodded slowly.  
“That's the city.” Xander told him. “That is why I'm not where I'm supposed to be sometimes.” He shrugged. “As for why it doesn't speak directly I think there is something that we are missing, after all the repairs I've made, only a handful of them have been main systems, most of them are small areas and don't seem that important.” He frowned. “But when the repair is done the whole system works smoother for the lack of a better term.”  
“Have you been shown the control chair?” John asked tilting his head.  
“Seen it, but McKay and Radek didn't want to risk me sitting in it, apparently my ATA gene is just as strong as yours and they didn't want to risk me setting something off by accident.” Xander nodded. “I also think that is why we aren't going to find a data core, the chair is the connection to everything and your direct link to the city.”  
“I've tried, I got nothing.” John shook his head.  
“Was that before or after we got the power boost?” Xander raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Before actually.” John frowned. “To be honest I don't know how to address the city...”  
“It can always hear you John, not matter where you are.” Xander reminded him and sighed when they came to a dead end. “I can't fix it if I can't get to it, you know.” He huffed glaring at the walls. “If the door way isn't here then point me in the right direction.”  
They both turned to look back the way they came when a transporter opened.  
“You know that's kinda creepy but I have to admit that I kinda like it.” John admitted dryly.  
“You get used to it.” Xander chuckled as they headed for the transporter and stepped inside.  
“You know I should really get my gun...” John hesitated at the entry way.  
“The city will not send me somewhere dangerous, it knows how much you wouldn't like it.” He grinned. “It's actually barred my way to dangerous areas and gives me a feeling of being scolded.”  
“Good.” John nodded and stepped in and looked at the map. “That is not the level above.” He noted seeing a red dot flashing. “That's below the main ground level.”  
“It's also directly under the main tower.” Xander pointed out but not touching the dot and looked at the writing beside the map. “John, according to this it is the main control centre, it's secured, locked down.”  
“I always thought that the Ancients were stupid to have the main controls right by the gate.” John nodded slowly. “If it's locked down is the city going to let us in?”  
“Just us for now.” Xander nodded as the transporter doors closed and John tapped the red flashing dot. “I hate that flash.” Xander groaned rubbing at his eyes.  
“Well your eyes have always been sensitive.” John shrugged, “Most of us don't notice it.” He looked at the still closed doors. “May we enter?” John frowned as the doors seemed to shudder for a moment before they slowly opened as if reluctant. “It really doesn't want us down here does it?”  
“I don't think that's it.” Xander tapped away at his tablet for a moment. “The city is fighting some programming to let us in.” He held out an arm to stop John from walking out of the transporter. “Don't, it's lock down protocols are still in operation, it will fry you if you leave now...” He plugged his tablet into the transporter to help the city over ride the programming or at least turn the lock down protocols down so they could leave the transporter.  
John waited looking around the large room that was dimly lit, in the centre was another control chair, a few feet away to the left were four consoles, to the far right were nine consoles.  
“I think...” Xander muttered as the lighting changed to a pale blue. “Got it.” He pushed his trolley out and then stepped off the transporter with John a half step behind him. “That chair looks different to the other one.” Xander noted walking towards and then circled it.   
“It's bigger and longer, but that's about it.” John answered after walking around it himself.  
“Hmm.” Xander moved to look over the different consoles on the left, checking them over for damage, replacing a few crystals before moving on to the next one. “Doesn't look like there is much damage here.” He commented as each fixed console lit up when he was done. “Nothing to explain the urgency I was sensing.” He headed for the right side of the room.  
“Maybe a fault in the chair it's self?” John suggested eyeing the dimly lit chair. “Without the chair the systems can't be fully accessed.”  
“Let me check a few things, just what ever you do don't sit in it until I've cleared everything else.” Xander shrugged.   
“Why?”  
“You could set a security protocol off and somehow I don't fancy being fried right now.” Xander snarked, working form one console to another, replacing parts as he went. “Ah here's the problem.” Xander cheered at the last console. “it's always the last one.” He chuckled.   
“What's it for?”  
“Weapons.” Xander shrugged.  
“Really? We're out of drones so we only have a few lasers for defense.” John came over looking interested.  
“Yeah that's what is causing the problem, the city knows that it can't defend you properly and is having a tantrum.” Xander nodded his hands flying over the console. “Okay information is being blocked....there...” He muttered to himself. “Cool, you have a drone building plant and enough supplies to build a hundred thousand drones after that you'll need to restock.”  
“Is it functional?” John asked frowning.  
“And now operational, building a drone a minute.” Xander nodded.  
“So we're going to have to find minerals that the city needs to keep building?” John nodded slowly.  
“I sent a request that the city mark planets with the needed minerals and materials, though it won't be able to tell you if it's wraith held or not.” Xander answered with a small nod. “So you're going to have to be careful.”  
“How do we get at it? We aren't miners?” John retorted.  
“The City has robotic drones for that, just send them through and they will do the work.” Xander shrugged. “They'll signal when they are done.”  
“Would they signal if wraith appeared?”  
“Yeah that too.” Xander nodded. “They will let you know if it is safe or not to let the shield down to allow them through.”  
“That's one relief then.” John relaxed against the console and looked around the room. “We aren't going to be let back in here when you're done are we?”  
“Probably not, it this wasn't critical I don't we would have been let in.” Xander shook his head. “So you hear from dad too?”  
“Yeah, he wants me to send you back on the next run if you were settled.” John nodded. “And the critical jobs were done.”  
“John I could spend the next year running around this city fixing things and not be done.” Xander snorted. “They city's automated repair systems will now take care of a lot of the damage now that it's active.”  
“When did you find that?” John frowned.  
“Five minutes ago.” Xander grinned at him. “The city can fix it's self, it will just take time, critical things it will send to McKay to sort out.” He smiled. “The city likes McKay, it always finds something for him to look at when he declares that he's bored.” He grinned as John snickered.  
“Rodney was wondering about that.” He shook his head. “Anything else that needs fixing before we put in the last module tomorrow?”  
Xander glanced at his tablet with a raised eyebrow for a long moment.   
“Doesn't appear so, nothing critical, urgent, a few things still need patching and replacing but that's easy enough to do.” Xander shook his head. ”And no breaking something just so I have to stay.” He told the room sternly. “Now seriously is there anything you need me to fix or look at to see if I can fix it, other wise I leave on the next transport home.” He saw something at the back of the room flicker and they both made their way over. Xander looked down at the screen on the console and the three above it frowning, his hands clasped behind his back, frowning as he read through the code and a few pictures that looked like blue prints.  
“What is that?” John asked frowning leaning forward to get a better look.  
“Don't touch.” Xander grabbed his shoulder holding him in place. “It's not really active, it's passively active.” He murmured absently.  
“Xan?”  
“It's blue prints for Atlantis, the city is trying to show me something...” He looked at another of the screens. “Oh...the city is still sleeping, everything it has done, it is only partially aware of, it's why it isn't in direct contact.”  
“Even with two modules in?” John asked in surprise. “Will it wake when we put in the third?”  
“No.” He shook his head. “Each control chair requires two modules as well.” His gaze moved to another screen. “Then it will be fully awake, the main three only bring it to half power...like a sleep walker.”  
“Right, will it let me leave to bring two up here and return?” John looked back at the transporter.  
“You yes, the city really likes you and trusts you.” Xander nodded after a moment. “I don't know about afterward though.” He smiled as one of the screens flickered. “You are the closest match to those the city loved that it has seen in a long time.”  
“What about you?”  
“It only let me in because I was with you.” Xander shook his head. “This was a one time trip for me I think.”  
“Anything else it needs you to see?” The screens went dull. “I guess not, then let's go get some modules to put in here and the other chair.”  
“They can only be put in after the third has been put in,” Xander warned going back to collect his tablet and led John to the chair and pointing out the places where the modules needed to go.  
“do I have to wait a week?”  
“No, you don't have to wait.” He shook his head as he grabbed his trolley and they stepped into the transporter. “You can install them with in an hour of the third being installed.”  
“Guess I know what I am doing tomorrow then.” John nodded as they were flashed to the corridor where Xander's quarters were. “Get some sleep, the Daedalus gets here tomorrow and leaves three days after that, dad wants you home.” He rested his hand on his shoulder giving him a squeeze, “as much as I've enjoyed having you here I want you somewhere safer.”  
“After being through a few attacks I wouldn't mind being somewhere a tad safer too.” Xander grinned at him as they paused outside his room. “Just don't forget to write once in awhile or Dad will probably send me back to kick your ass.”  
“Noted.” John chuckled. “sleep.”  
“Ditto.” Xander snorted at him stepping into his room.

**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As soon as Xander got home he spent a week working on his personal project, as no one was home when he arrived. In his spare time, mostly when he couldn't sleep he began the ideas of another project and even wrote up a formal project proposal for General Jack to look over, he was sure that it would get denied considering that what he wanted to work on was still highly classified and he wasn't technically employed by the SGC. He left it in an envelope on his father's desk addressed to General J O’Neill, he knew that when his father returned he would see to it that the General would get it even if he didn't know what it was. 

It was also that week he decided that he really needed more room to work in his hobby shed was getting too small, but he didn't want to risk his projects and his ideas falling into the wrong hands and if he was honest with himself he didn't trust security systems that were available to secure a house to work in, they were just too easy to crack. Even the top of the line systems that his father used for his labs was relatively easy to crack and had gotten glared and scowled at when he had said so before he had left to visit Atlantis.  
He looked up from his research as Patrick walked in to the library and sat down across from Xander frowning and looking frustrated.

“Problems?” Xander asked quietly.

“Jack told me to put my money where my mouth was about my security.” He scowled. “He proved that you were right, it was horrible. The chosen team got in and out with out being seen, within eight minutes.”

“Ouch.” Xander winced. “Eight minutes really?”

“Yeah and now I am told that we have the best systems there is out there, anywhere.”

“Sometimes going old school is better.” Xander pointed out. “Did the chosen team at least point out the problems they saw as they went through so you can correct them?”

“Yes, they are being looked into now.” Patrick looked at him for a moment. “You look a little frustrated yourself, what's got you in knots?”

“My hobby shed is getting too cramped to work in, but I don't trust security systems these days.” He shrugged. “So I don't like the idea of taking my projects off property, too much of a chance of someone getting curious.”

“Why not use the basement? It's large, can be secured easily and is already wired for electricity.” Patrick suggested calmly.

“We have a basement?” Xander blinked at him in surprise. “That's not on the blue prints.”

“I know.” Patrick smirked at him. “It's where I used to do my private projects, so it is already pretty well secured, I can add you to the system and let you take it over if you want to use it.”

“Can I take a look?”

“Sure.” He nodded, rose to his feet and walked to a bookshelf, pulled a picture off the wall and plugged in a long number, hand scan and an eye scan and led Xander down a set of stairs. Again they came to a wooden door and Patrick swiped a card, a number code and a hand scan. When the door opened Xander saw that it wasn't just a wooden door but a door that was four feet thick and they entered a large room filled with shelves, work tables that was easily forty by sixty feet wide, He wondered around the room and found another door and found a bathroom.

“This is perfect, a bit bigger then I was looking for but that just gives me more room to expand.” Xander murmured looking around the room again. “Getting equipment up and down the stairs will be a pain but I can work that.”

“It was a pain but the privacy was worth it.” Patrick agreed. “You want to use it?”

“I do.” Xander nodded.

“I'll add you to the system and give you a hand moving everything over, should have you up and running in a few days.” 

“Thanks.” Xander beamed at him.

“Anything for one of my sons.” Patrick smiled at him.

**

Xander looked up from the circuit board he was working on to frown when he heard a faint tune being played trying to remember what it was before he dove for the desk that he had set up near the stairs heading up into the main house for his cell phone.

“Alex speaking.” He said a little breathlessly.

“Did you loose your cell again? This is the fourth time I've called today.” A grumpy sounding O’Neill grumbled on the line.

“Lost in my work and I could barely hear it.” Xander shrugged and lent against the desk. “What can I do for you?”

“You can tell me where the hell you are for starters, no one has seen or heard from you in nearly four months, Sheppard.” Jack growled.

“Dad knew where I was, he visits once a week.” Xander stated sounding confused. 

“Location Sheppard.” Jack snapped.

“At home, in Denver, same place I've been since I came back to the family.”

“I was just there, in fact I am standing in the kitchen, there is no one here.” Jack snapped again.

“Safety feature, there's a hidden basement, Dad let me take over.” Xander turned and headed up the stairs and slipped into the library and headed for the kitchen meeting Jack in the door way and hung up. “Dad said he'd tell you so he could add you to the security so if there was a problem you could get to me.” Xander half apologised.

“I'll blame him then. You doing anything that can't be put aside for two months or so?”

“What happened to John now?” Xander asked sighing.

“We don't know but he's pissed as all hell and won't talk to anyone, he snarled at someone a few weeks ago that the only way to he'd talk is if he cooled off.” Jack grimaced and run a hand over his short hair.

“No way.” Xander shook his head violently. “I am not getting anywhere near him if he's that pissed.” Xander even took a few steps back.

“I take it that the therapy that works for you don't for him.”

“Last time we tried he put me in hospital with two broken legs and four ribs and a coma for three weeks.” Xander looked away as he spoke quietly and heard the sharp inhale. “We agreed from then on I'd keep my distance when he's that pissed.”

“From the reports I got you calmed him down when he was pissed while you were there.” Jack said frowning.

“He wasn't pissed, mildly annoyed, most of the time when he was really pissed I wouldn't go near him, the only one who could get close was Rodney.”

“They aren't talking to each other.” Jack growled. “There was some sort of falling out.”

“Is Ronon sparring with him?”

“Ronon runs the other way.” Jack shook his head.

“That would be like Teal'c bolting the other way looking terrified.” Xander clarified for him sighed. “I can try talking to him but if he orders me away I'll go.”

“Anything else that makes him calm down, a reflex that calms him a little?” Jack asked starting to sound a little desperate. “Major Lorne says they've tried everything.”

“Did they say what they've tried?” Xander asked slowly thinking hard, he knew that there were a few things that did help John relax on sight.

“Sparring, actually fighting, swimming, card games, car races, flying...”

“Flying didn't work?” Xander winced.

“Nope, cooled him a little but by morning he was boiling over again. Alex, if this keeps up I have to pull him home until he gets sorted and he doesn't want to go.”

“Ship or gate?” Xander asked sighing. “There is a chance he'll send me right back home again, before I've been there half an hour.”

“Then I'll have no choice but to recall him and no one is going to like that, even me.” Jack shrugged. “And you'll be going by gate.”

“Give me three hours max, I'll need an hour to shut down my lab and then do some shopping.” Xander nodded slowly.

“You still go the crates?”

“Yeah, I should only need one.” 

“As fast as you can and tell Patrick I'm stealing you again.” Jack warned before hurrying out of the house.

“Damn.” Xander cursed before running down to his lap to start saving what he had been working on and shutting down the electronics while talking to his dad, letting him know what was happening and getting some advice.

**

Xander frowned as he stepped through the gate with a backpack and a crate to see the lights dim and only a few people on duty.

“Hey Chuck.” He greeted the young Canadian at the controls.

“Alex.” Chuck grinned looking a little relieved. 

“Is it night shift?” Alex asked looking around, not liking the feeling he was getting off the city it's self.

“Yeah, it's 0330.” Chuck nodded. “You want to head straight for your brother?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I want to talk to his team first.” He spotted a few solders looking at him frowning. “McKay still working in his lab?”

“As always.” Chuck nodded. “You need an escort or do you remember the way?”

“I remember, thanks.” Xander smiled at him and headed out of the gate room and into a transporter, he didn't immediately press the location board. “Mathis, does John have a hiding spot he goes to vent or tinker?” HE asked quietly and was surrounded by a flash, he stepped out into a dimly lit area and followed a repair drone that looked like a metal tonka toy truck to large area that looked a lot like a mad scientists area.

He shook his head and after a quick look around found an empty desk and unpacked the supplies he had brought. Model planes, cars and houses to be built, thousands of match sticks, tooth picks and popsicle sticks that John could build houses and what not out of, glue, paint, a few racing cars that had to be built. A few flash drives with music, a few home videos and a few books of John's favourite author. Once unpacked he looked over the white boards that were covered in math, it hadn't been one of his best subjects but he knew enough to have a few degrees in it and found an empty white board and set up three equations for John to work on.

When he was done he stuck a post it note on the bottom telling him that he was there when he was ready to talk, no pressure...but he had to cool down or he was going to get recalled to go through therapy before getting to come back.

He trotted back to the transported and tapped on the area where Rodney's lab was and walked calmly down to the lab that was brightly lit to see Rodney standing in front of a group of white boards covered in equations and hitting his head against a blank section. 

Xander frowned as he looked over Rodney. His stance was exhausted and in pain, but not physical and his shoulders were slumped. He had never seen Rodney so...beaten.  
“Rodney?” Xander called softly to get his attention, the man stiffened then sighed. 

“I was wondering how long it was going to take before they called some one in to talk to him.” Rodney's voice was hoarse and lifeless.

“I was told if this doesn't work then they have no choice but to recall him back to earth for a shit load of therapy before they even consider sending him back.” Xander informed   
him quietly moving to sit at a desk but not to close to the exhausted man. “They don't know what happened, no one is talking, but this is effecting the entire city that they can't do nothing.”

“He won't go.” Rodney pointed out.

“I know, but they won't have a choice but to remove him forcefully or declare him rogue.” Xander sighed. “I've only seen him pissed off once and I never wanted to see it again, considering the last time I ended up with two broken legs, four ribs, a nearly shattered arm and in a coma for three weeks.”

“He hurt you?” Rodney turned with a horrified look on his face.

“We tried sparring like he does for me when I get pissed.” Xander grimaced. “He berserked, he had no control or idea what he had done until he came out of it.” Xander sighed. “We never told anyone what happened, but he made sure that he had it added to his file that he was susceptible to berserker rage.”

“Which is why he won't fight anyone now.” Rodney nodded slowly. “You got any ideas? We're fresh out.”

“I brought a few things. I put them where he'd find them.” Xander nodded. “I'll know in a few days whether they worked or not, providing he doesn't order me home when he finds them.” He eyed Rodney for a few moments. “Can you tell me what happened? Will you?”

“What makes you think I know?” Rodney glared at him.

“One, you are his team mate. Two you are his best friend. Three you've known him a long time enough to know what's going on with him with out asking or being told. Four you are his lover...” He held up his hand when Rodney started to blush and splutter. “I'm not blind and John didn't tell me if it was supposed to be a secret. I have eyes and I know body language, I saw a lot of things when I was last here, John knows that, he used to ask me to keep an eye on things while I was here and let him know if I saw something that might turn into a problem.” He watched as Rodney slowly calmed a little. “Rodney, you are his best friend, the one he trusts even if he doesn't say it and if you know John as well as you think you do then you know that there is a lot that he just doesn't say.”

“Annoying habit.” Rodney muttered.

“It's a Sheppard Habit.” Xander shrugged. “We aren't that good with words and most of the time actions speak louder then words.” He watched as Rodney frowned and then turned to look over the white boards again tilting his head. “If you can't tell me what happened, tell me how he has been acting?”

“I don't know what happened, just that over a few days he went through all his men sparring and it got to the point that Ronon started avoiding him when he wanted to spar, the man was covered in bruises, deep bruises. He went for a few flights and then took himself off rotation, refused to go near the puddle jumpers, he was snappy and largely silent which isn't really like him,” Rodney spoke absently. “For two weeks he'd come down here after everyone was gone for the day and sit in a corner where I couldn't see him unless I really looked and work in a note book and slip out again a few hours later. He stopped coming to team nights, stopped coming to meals...”

“That isn't him pissed Rodney.” Xander said quietly.

“I know, he's upset, grieving or lost something.” Rodney turned slowly. “I told the others that but they were so sure that they were right. I worried that something had happened to you guys but when you replied that all was good...” He sighed. “I didn't know what to think.”

“When did he stop sneaking into where ever you were late at night?” Xander asked tilting his head.

“He still does sometimes.” Rodney smiled sadly. “He left an hour ago.”

“Alright, let me see if I can talk to him and not get sent home, he on duty tomorrow?”

“No, he can't be found on his off days.” Rodney shook his head as he warned.

“Thanks.” Xander stood and made his way back to John's hide away and removed the note on the board and then made his way to John's quarters. The doors opened before he could reach for the controls and slipped into the dark rooms and from memory made his way to John's bed. “John?” He called softly as John wasn't facing the door, letting him know that someone was there and who. He carefully set his back pack down and toed off his shoes and laid down next to John not touching him, he knew he was awake, John never slept through someone coming into to his room or someone saying his name, no matter how quiet they were.

He laid there on his back staring up at the ceiling for a long time before John rolled over, wrapped himself around Xander, his head under his chin and held on tightly. He wrapped his arms around his brother as his shoulders began to shake and just held him as he silently cried, just as John had held him a few times over the years.

**  
John was gone when he woke later that morning, it was actually closer to noon. He sighed and slid out of bed and headed for the shower. Once dressed he sat down at the small table John had in his quarters to do up his shoes and only then noticed the note.

 

'You have a week to check over our systems before I boot you home again. See if Mathis knows of any nice larger quarters that I can move into later, he's not talking to me at the moment. Something that I can use as a large study would be nice. Talk later. J' 

 

The writing was a little shaky and barely readable and Xander shook his head before moving his pack out of the way so he or John wouldn't trip over it later, he'd find quarters for himself later and pulled out a tablet to work on. 

He headed out ignoring the few stares he got for coming out of John's quarters by a few solders that he didn't know and made his way to the mess hall. He grabbed himself a cup of coffee and a plate of ham and turkey sandwiches and sat down at a empty table. He wirelessly connected to Atlantis's systems and asked for a system repair update and waited for it to load. He raised an eyebrow as a military man he didn't know sat down and began to eat without asking.

“Can I help you?” He inquired dryly.

“You need to more discreet coming out of officer territory kid.” He warned softly. “Rumors start that way.” Xander just raised an amused eyebrow at him. “It isn't something to be amused about, careers have been ruined by less and there are some asshats here.” He glared.

“How long you been here?” Xander asked picking up his coffee.

“Two months, what has that got to do with it?” His glare deepened.

“Most people know who I am and wouldn't be stupid enough to start anything seeing me coming out of anyone's quarters.” Xander smirked. “Especially those quarters.” He saw that he had the man's attention as he paused frowning. “Allow me to set you at ease, and so you can beat the uninformed asshats here.” Xander held out his hand. “I'm Dr Alex Sheppard.” He smirked as the man automatically took his hand to shake then freeze. “John's baby brother.”

“Oh fuck.” He breathed. “They're going to get an ass kicking...” He released his hand and then burst out laughing.

“From just about anyone and everyone.” Xander agreed.

“So you were visiting the Colonel?”

“Yep, I'm here for a week or two to check the computer systems, make sure I got all the problems when I was last here four months ago.” He nodded setting his coffee down and at one of the sandwiches. “And thanks for watching John's back. I don't think he leans that way but thanks all the same.” He looked up as Rodney approached.

“There a problem?” He asked darkly.

“No Rodney, not at all.” Xander assured him with a tired smile. “Sit, eat before you run out of coffee in your system.”

“Not likely to happen,” Rodney snorted sitting down with his sandwiches and two cups of coffee.

“Nice to meet you Doctor.” The soldier nodded as he finished up his meal and then departed.

“What was that about?” Rodney asked frowning.

“An aborted telling off to be more discreet about leaving officer territory.” Xander pulled a face. “Apparently in the last four months you've gotten some asshats that love to make trouble and are too nosey.” He jerked his head in the direction the man had gone. “He was warning me about them.”

“So they are going to try and accuse John off...” Rodney burst out laughing. “Oh they are going to be so humiliated.”

“Yeah and get kick off the city and the SGC. They don't tolerate asshats at all not with what they do.” Xander nodded. “Makes me wonder at how many other people they have tried it on.”

“No one has left in the last four months, willingly anyway, a few we have kicked off of being terminally stupid.” Rodney frowned and then growled. “Blackmail.”

“It does leave the only option doesn't it.” Xander sighed. “When I get back I'll tell General Jack to screen better.”

“How is he?” Rodney asked quietly, his eyes on his meal. 

“Not sure yet, hasn't talk to me, but he's given me a week to check over the systems before he sends me home.” Xander shrugged lightly. “But he didn't kick me out of his room,   
which is a good sign.”

“Good.” Rodney relaxed a little and stopped picking at his lunch, which seemed to signal for those watching that it was safe to approach as Teyla, Ronon and Evan joined then a   
few minutes later, greeting him with smiles as they settled themselves around the table.

“He still sleeping?” Ronon grunted around his food.

“He was up and gone when I woke.” Xander shook his head. “Gave me a week here before he sends me home.” He eyed them all carefully over his coffee cup. “Give me a few days and he might talk to me, no promises.”

“I just want to know what pissed him off that badly.”

“He wasn't pissed off.” Xander shook his head. “At least not after the first few days. Just leave it to me, and be there when he starts approaching people again.”

“If you say so.” Evan stated dubiously.

“Anyone in the infirmary in critical condition?” Xander asked blandly.

“No, just deep bruises.” Evan shook his head.

“Then he wasn't pissed, mildly mad, but not pissed.” Xander stated. “Trust me I know.”

“Alright we'll leave it alone and stop asking.” Evan nodded slowly. “I'm just worried, I mean the man is doing his paper work before it is due and not bunting it over to me.” He frowned.

“He'll be fine in time, just be silent supporting friends for now like you have been for the last few weeks. That's all he needs from you right now.” Xander assured them, setting his empty coffee cup on his empty plate. “Have any urgent repairs that I can do?” He asked looking at Rodney.

“No, now that we are fully powered anything that breaks down is taken care of by the self repair system and the drones which can I just say are a little weird?” Rodney shook his head.

“Better then looking like insects.” Xander pointed out.

“That is true.” They all shuddered.

Xander looked at his tablet browsing through the self repair reports and frowned. “Rodney do you go through the self repair reports?”

“Radek does, why?” Rodney leaned closer to look over his arm. “What are you seeing?”

“Not sure, but this states deliberately damaged, sabotage?” He passed it over so Rodney could look it over. “About four weeks ago.”

“Yeah we had a moron who didn't know what he was doing and never obeyed orders, he was tossed back to earth four days after he arrived.” Rodney nodded handing it   
back. “O'Neill said he'd deal with it after doing some digging.” He paused handing it back. “Any others?”

“No just that week period.” Xander shook his head.

“how are your Degrees going?” Rodney asked changing the subject.

“Got the Masters, thinking about which ones to do PhD's in, if I want to continue, I already started the one for Aeronautical Engineering, Dad's trying to talk me into doing either Physics or Astrophysics.” He shrugged.

“And your personal projects?” Rodney asked nodding.

“Are coming along nicely, stuck on a few of them but they are all plodding along.” he shook his head. “Some times it feels like I am banging my head against a wall so I leave it alone for awhile and come back to it later.”

“Best way to go sometimes.” Rodney agreed piling his empty dishes back on to his tray. “Back to work.” He muttered and walked off after depositing his tray.

“John assigning you an escort again while you are here?” Evan asked finishing up as Teyla and Ronon disappeared after Rodney.

“Didn't say he was.” Xander shook his head. “Guess I'll find out when I see someone following me around and if it is someone I know.” He shrugged.

“You going to wonder today? There are still some areas that aren't explored.”

“Not today, tomorrow probably. Today I am going to find me some quarters to steal while I am here then track down John and sit in a corner until he talks to me.”

“Good luck finding him, we can't when he wants to hide.” Evan snorted standing to leave.

“I can always find him when he's nearby.” Xander shrugged follow Evan to deposit his tray to be collected and then headed off.

**

Xander had been sitting in an undisturbed corner of John's hide away for hours working on his tablet while John worked silent on different things in the room, listening to some of the music that he'd brought for him.

“Should have known that you'd find me.” John finally noted near dinner time sitting down beside him.

“I always could find you when you were near by.” Xander reminded him saving what he had been working on and set the tablet aside and looked at John, who looked tired, dark shadows under his eyes and the lines around his mouth and eyes were deeper giving him a hunted look. He also saw from that look that he wasn't ready to talk yet. “According to some of your guys you have some asshats here and are probably going to try something as some of the new solders saw me coming out of your quarters this morning.”

“Let them try, it will get them drummed out of here so fast they will leave skid marks.” John scowled then frowned. “You think they've already tried on a few here?”

“If people haven't been leaving quietly then they must be using blackmail, new solders wouldn't know about your 'don't give a damn' policy.” Xander pointed out quietly. “One tried to warn me to be more discreet, trying to protect your back...he was gleeful when I informed them that it wouldn't go anywhere because I was your baby brother.” He smirked and got a fierce one in reply.

“He knows I sneak in doesn't he?” John asked quietly.

“Yeah he knows, some nights he only stays so you'll have some company, letting you know that he'll be there for you anytime you need him.” Xander nodded slightly and lent his head against John's shoulder. 

“Are you officially working for the SGC?” John murmured resting his head on top of Xander's.

“I get work occasionally from General Jack but I don't have an office or what ever at the mountain, I do it all from home. It's not often they have something for me to work on.” Xander answered frowning a little. “Though he did offer me a lab and office before I came through this time so he could find me when he needed me, said he'd stock it with what ever I needed.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” John asked confused.

“Dad gave me his old lab in the hidden basement, my shed got too crowded.” 

“Ah, you going to take him up on his offer?”

“Been thinking about it but it would mean I'd have to play by their rules and work on what they wanted, when they wanted.” Xander shrugged and frowned thoughtfully. “You want me there for something?”

“Until I can get them out here yeah.” John sighed. 

“Who?” Xander frowned.

“Ian and Jake. Been watching over then for their brothers or cousins, promised I would when they got killed in action. They just finished OTS and went straight into the SGC, they'll be there for awhile and if they pass a few requirements needed will be shifted out here in a year or so.” John explained quietly. “Ian's doing okay but Jake just lost the rest of his family a few weeks ago and isn't doing so well and I can't get there to help, if I'd been thinking straight I would have asked you to step in weeks ago.”

“Jake...” Xander frowned and then it clicked. “Little Jakey? Jared's brother?”

“Yeah.” John said in a small pained voice. “He's the same age as you know.” John added poking his ribs.

“He always seemed younger.” Xander shrugged.

“He was sheltered, they way I kinda wish you were.” John sighed. “Can you? Just give them somewhere to bunker down and hide when needed?”

“Yeah I can shelter then when it gets too much.” Xander nodded. “Granted General Jack doesn't have much for me to do, I'm mostly computer tech stuff, they don't have a lot of call for that.”

“More then you think, and more then they can let out of the mountain.” John assured him. “A lot of it will be alien tech so something new for you to figure out how it works.”

“Hmm.” Xander nodded. “Jake the reason?” he asked softly.

“Part of.” John agreed quietly. “That news hit the day after.” He sighed rubbing at his face.

“When your ready.” Xander murmured. “Not before.”

“I told you about Nancy and what a mistake that was, but did I ever tell you about Terry?” He asked after a long silent moment, his shoulders tensing.

“Just that when it was over that her true colours came out, a selfish bitch who was after your money and when she found out she couldn't get it she left.” Xander said thoughtfully.

“Yeah, found out she had a kid.” His voice was tight. “They were killed in a car accident...in her will she wanted the father informed.”

“John?” He twisted so he could look up into his devastated face.

“I asked for a DNA test to make sure she wasn't lying...didn't let myself feel anything at all until the results came in.” His jaw was clenched and a tear ran down his cheek. “I had a son and I didn't even know...he was seven....” A sob forced it's way out of his throat and Xander moved to wrap John up in his arms and let him cry on his shoulder and let a few tears of his own fall for the nephew he never knew and the son John would never have.

He didn't know how long he held him and let him go when he pulled back a little.

“I...I need..” He tried to speak between small sobs.

“I'll get him for you.” Xander assured him softly, giving him a squeeze before letting him go and wiped his face as he made his way to a transporter. “Mathis, where ever Rodney is please.” He murmured roughly, scrubbing at his face. He knew that he couldn't hide the tears he'd shed and really didn't care a that point. He walked down the familiar hall and stepped into Rodney's lab where the geeks were arguing over something on the board, he couldn't catch his attention but he caught Radek's and nodded towards Rodney and a finger to his lips.

He waited just out of view of the door while Radek made his way to Rodney's side and murmured something into his ear. He listened as Rodney snapped out orders and a few minutes later walked out with his laptop and stopped when he saw his face.

“He told you what happened?” Rodney asked quietly.

“Yeah, he needs you right now.” Xander nodded and lead him back to the transporter.

“How bad is it?” He asked as they stepped in.

“He's devastated for what could have been.” Xander murmured and looked to the controls. “John's hide away please Mathis.”

“Who is Mathis?” Rodney frowned.

“I'll explain another time.” Xander promised as they stepped out and walked down another corridor. “He's a mess.” Xander admitted.

“He's crying?” Rodney asked quietly.

“Sobbing uncontrollably. He just wants you now.” Xander smiled sadly at him. “As it should be.” He waved his hand over a control panel and it opened and the soft sounds of music and faint sobbing met their ears. “Go, I'll bring a meal by later.” He saw Rodney hesitate. “He needs to tell you I'll fill in the blanks later if I know them.” Rodney nodded and entered following the sounds of sobbing and Xander stepped back letting the doors close and made his way back to John's quarters.

He grabbed his backpack and left, stepping into a transporter asking for empty but furnished quarters that hadn't been claimed by anyone and memorised the numbers flashed on the control board, then easily found them. Once in, he locked the door, made sure that no one had claimed them and forgotten to inform anyone and collapsed on the bed to finish grieving. He wasn't sure how much later it was but familiar comforting arms wrapped around him and murmured comforting words into his ears.

**

Three days later Xander stepped through the gate back to the SGC and was informed that General O'Neill wanted to see him as soon as he was done with his medical check.

“You look like hell.” Patrick greeted him in Jack's office with a frown. “John that bad off?”

“He's getting there.” Xander shrugged. “He got three lots of bad news within a few days of each other.”

“So he wasn't pissed?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

“For the first few days.” Xander nodded and looked at his father. “Sit.” He ordered and after a startled look Patrick sat down. “First John got a letter from a family friend that he has been mentoring, sees as another brother, that his parents were killed in a car accident, he's not doing too well at the moment and John couldn't get a few days to come back and help him with the funeral arrangements and get him settled.” He saw them both wince a little at that. “Then he got a letter from a Lawyer about an ex that died, she was a real piece of work, stating that she and her son were killed in an accident, she wanted him told and that the kid was his.” Both men went pale and Xander sank down into his own chair. “He asked for a paternity test and got the confirmation a few days later.”

“Jesus Christ.” Jack dropped his head in to his hands.

“She never told him, she was only with him for his money and when she found out that she wasn't going to get a penny of it she left him and never told him that she was pregnant.” He grimaced. “She could have told him and he would have provided for them but she didn't, don't get that consider what a selfish bitch she was.” He rubbed at his face. “John's devastated that he never knew that he had a son and now he will never know...” His throat closed for a moment.

“Does he know where...?”

“No, he asked me to find out where he's buried so he can at least visit on his next leave.” Xander shook his head.

“Can he still...” Jack hesitated. “Can he still work? I couldn't....” He stopped again.

“He's doing his work just fine, Major Lorne is complaining because he has nothing to do because John isn't passing it along like he usually does.” Xander shrugged. “At this point only us and McKay know, he'll let the rest of his team know in another few days when he can talk about it with out choking on tears.” He paused and looked at Jack. “And you sent some Asshats in the last few groups there, the blackmailing kind, John'll send them back in a few days when he's sure that he's got most of them.”

“Christ.” Jack groaned digging into his draw and pulled out a bottle of bourbon and three glasses pouring them all a few fingers worth and handed out the glasses. “Thought I'd   
screen them all out.” He glared at his glass after downing the bourbon. “Who did they go after?”

“Him.” Xander smirked. “They were new and saw me coming out of his quarters looking sleepy.”

“They didn't even try to find out who you were first?” Patrick snorted in amusement.

“Nope, one guy chided me for not being discreet and then I introduced myself when I saw that he was watching John's back, he was rather sweet and was happy when he left.” Jack laughed shaking his head. “John's got five in the brig right now and is quietly going through the soldiers to see who is being blackmailed.” He bent to dig through his back pack and tossed a flash drive onto Jack's desk.

“I'll have a look and see what I missed.” Jack nodded putting it next to his laptop. “You thought about my offer?”

“Offer?” Patrick glared at Jack.

“Do you really have enough work for me to make it worth while having a lab and office here?”

“There is a lot that can't be taken off base that I can have you go over.” Jack nodded. “When you aren't working on something for me or Colonel Carter you are free to work on your own projects.” He smiled. “Well the ones you will let others look at anyway.” He gave Patrick a side look. “If Patrick wouldn't have my balls I'd station you with your brother, now that the danger is less.” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “How many chicks does Sheppard have here that he wants you to watch over?” He asked bluntly.

“Two.” Xander grinned at him. “He asked me to watch over them while they went through basic training of the SGC.” His smile faded a little. “They are kin of old team mates.”

“Fair enough.” Jack nodded slowly. “This is the contract I wrote up for you.” He pulled out a file and tossed it onto the desk. “I'm sure Patrick will help you understand it all and will happily help you change what you aren't happy with.” Jack smirked for a moment. “I will admit that I want you stationed on Atlantis within three years for as long as your brother is in control there.”

“Cages are being rattled further up?” Patrick asked frowning.

“Yeah, a lot of people aren't happy.” Jack frowned. “I have a few plans in the place...but there are whispers.”

“We'll talk about them later.” Patrick nodded reading through Xander's work contract.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here is the next chapter. Now this is where I am having troubles, after this part the story went in two different directions and then my muse took a walk and has yet to return for the rest of it, but in the first part I still have another chapter or two to put up or one if I go the other way i haven't decided which way to go with the story yet which is another reason why my muse has taken a walk...I'll get there, just be patient, it could be months before you get another chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

 

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Chapter 5

  
  


Xander glanced up from learning Goa'uld computer code when Jake slipped in with his laptop and settled himself at a spare desk to work without saying a word and turned his attention back to his coding.

He had been on base now for four months, gotten the lab set up to his liking but hadn't brought any of his personal projects to the base as he wasn't ready for anyone but his father to see it just yet. He had met both Jake and Ian within a week of setting up his lab, they had searched him out after getting an email from John letting them know that he was there if they needed shelter or a quiet place to work or someone to talk to.

Jake Holland had remembered the one meeting they'd had before his brother had died and had stated that he wasn't surprised to find out that Xander was a science geek with a sad smile. Ian was shy and tended to get bullied a bit by the others but had taken to hanging out with Jake when not in the lab, both were doing better, but Jake was still having a few problems, which wasn't that surprising.

Xander knew that something was going on, over half the base was tense about something and winding tighter and tighter as the weeks passed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was going on, but it was starting to get to him, setting off nightmares about Sunnydale and that just didn't bode well at all.

They both jerked when the klaxon alarm went off.

“All non essential personal, scientists and those soldiers with under two years under your belt head to the gate room, take only what you can carry. This is an Evacuation. This is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill.” General O'Neill's voice boomed over the PA. “Take only what you can personally carry. MOVE!”

Xander disconnected his two laptops, tossing them into a nearby carry bag and the four tablets scattered around the room, four notebooks and the duffel bag of clothes that he kept in there along with some emergency clothes that he had Ian and Jake keep there in case some jackass broke into their rooms to play a cruel joke. Jake grabbed the other two duffel bags and they scrambled for the emergency hatches instead of the elevator.

“SHEPPARD!” Xander turned to see Jack pushing Daniel in front of him with a bag over his shoulder. “Take him, give this to John.” He thrust Daniel and a laptop at him and hurried off.

“JACK!” Daniel screamed after him, his face devastated and angry.

“I'll be right behind you Daniel.” Jack yelled back.

“You better BE!” Daniel screamed.

“Jake help me.” Xander pulled Daniel with them through the crush of people arriving in the gate room already heading through the gate. He saw a few soldiers taking names as people went through. “WILKES!” He yelled, hoping that Ian was somewhere in the room and hadn't done anything foolish like run to his room to grab things.

“ALREADY THROUGH DR.” One of them yelled.

Xander waved his thanks and looked at Daniel. “My family?” He knew that they were due on base today, Matt had finally gotten clearance to join and David was working on a project with Carter.

“Jack already threw them through.” Daniel assured him as they headed up the ramp with the crush of people they were being squished by.

Xander felt Jake stumble and he and Daniel caught him so he would fall. “Hang on and don't let go.” Xander ordered once Jake got a good grip on them both again as they moved into the gate.

Once they were through Xander looked around.

“Follow the line of Soldiers to your right, when you get to the hall give your name so you can be checked off the lists.” Lorne was yelling from the stairs. They had no choice but to follow the crowd and gave their names at the entry way of large room that was filled with tables and chairs.

“Sit down and wait, we don't have time to answer questions right now.” A soldier bellowed at some scientists wailing near by.

“Jack better not get himself killed.” Daniel muttered as they found a seat, and hugged his backpack. 

Xander was looking over the crowd trying to spot his family or Ian. He saw Jake doing the same.

“IAN!” Jake called and waved seeing the young man walking through the crowd with one of the other young soldiers he had taken to spending time with.

“Thank god.” Ian hurried over and hugged Jake.

“Jimmy” Daniel said in surprise standing to pull the other young man into a hard quick hug.

“You okay?” Jimmy demanded.

“Yeah, pissed but okay.” Daniel nodded. 

“Anyone seen any Sheppards?” Xander asked just loud enough to be heard still looking around.

“They came through with me.” Jimmy turned to look at him. “Jack told me to make sure they made it through safely, Major Lorne had them taken to Colonel Sheppard's office.”

“Thank you.” Xander's shoulders slumped in relief.

“Anyone know what is going on?” Ian asked timidly.

“Only that it's bad.” Jimmy shook his head, then looked at Daniel.

“I don't know.” Daniel shook his head. “Evacuation of the base was a last resort measure, that's all I know.”

“ALEX SHEPPARD PLEASE REPORT TO THE CONTROL ROOM.” Chuck's voice boomed over the PA.

“Keep an eye on these for me.” He handed over his bags to Jake and hurried out, seeing the crowd he knew he wasn't going to be able to push through them and headed for the nearest transporter and hit the control panel and hurried to the control centre.

“You're sure he's come through?” Rodney demanded of someone.

“I'm here.” He hurried down the stairs.

“How did you get up there?” Lorne asked turning from his directing.

“Transporter, there was no way I could push through the crowd.” He jerked his thumb back at the transporter he had come out of. “What do you need?”

“John's in the chair.” But instead of pointing down he pointed up meaning that John was in the main control chair. “He says that he can keep the gate open longer then 38 minutes but he needs someone else with a strong natural gene in the other chair and you are the only one we know of with a gene as strong as his.” Rodney explained quickly. “I'll take you four minutes to sync with the chair and we only have eight left and we aren't sure they can dial again.” He added as he led Xander back up the stairs towards the transporter.

“But I've never been in the chair, John says it takes a lot of concentration.” Xander protested.

“It does and it doesn't. For those with the given gene it takes a lot but those with the natural gene its easy.” Rodney assured him as they stepped out of the transporter and hurried into the chair room, the chair was already lit up. “John said he can lead you through it, if I can't be here who do you want?”

“Lorne, Stackhouse or Markham.” Xander said as he sat down and the chair immediately tipped back and he settled into it.

**Alex.** John's voice whispered into his mind. **Calm down this is easy. The chair will do most of the work and will guide you. All you have to do is concentrate on keeping the gate open as long as possible as long as it is safe to do so.** John instructed.

Xander focused on that fact. 

Keep the gate open, powered for as long as it was safe to do so. 

According to what he could now access that was for at least another hour, maybe two if needed before the gates began overheating and couldn't take the strain anymore, so he kept an eye on the stats of the stress and power the two gates were under.

Behind that he could feel something curious gently probing at him that felt faintly familiar.

**Mathis. Atlantis.** He greeted them before turning his attention back to what he was doing and felt what had to be a mental hug of welcome. He didn't know how long he was lost in the connection when he felt the wormhole beginning to lose power. **John.**

**I know. A few more minutes, the control staff are coming through now. They were coming last.** John assured him, sounding just as tired as he suddenly felt. 

The wormhole faltered a few more times before John told him that the last person was through and he could let go, blank his mind and focus on the room he was in.

Xander felt the chair move so he was sitting up right but just sat there limply for a few minutes, letting himself reorient himself and then slowly opened his eyes to see Evan standing and Stackhouse standing on either side of the chair. 

“You did well for your first time.” Evan smiled faintly. “How you feel?”

“Exhausted like I just ran a marathon.” Xander slurred taking note that a few people wheeled in a medical bed and hurried forward. “Don't think I can stand.”

“Don't try, we'll lift you.” Evan assured him moving something off his lap. “What's with the laptop?”

“Give to John. Important. General Jack gave to give to John.” Xander made his mouth form the words as he was lifted up and placed on the gurney. 

“I'll make sure he gets it then.” Evan promised.

Xander blinked slowly a few times as a bright light was flashed in his eyes a few times.

“Pass out now?” Xander murmured.

“Only if you really can't stay awake, Alex.” Stackhouse answered as the ceiling above began moving and assumed that the gurney was being pushed. “Doctors want to make sure that you are alright first.”

“Tired.” Xander mumbled quickly loosing the battle to keep his eyes open. He was quiet for a little while before he heard the nurses rattling off a whole heap of jargon and he was shifted onto another bed.

“You still with us laddie?” Carson's calm patient voice inquired.

“Sleep now?” Xander mumbled.

“A few moments, lad, then you can sleep.” His voice became muffled. “I've never seen some one so exhausted coming out of the chair after only an hour.”

“It took a lot out of us, Carson.” John's tired voice answered. “For his first time he did great. Some sleep and food for a few days and he'll be fine.”

“We'll see.” With that said everything faded as Xander lost his hold on reality.

  
  


**

  
  


When Xander woke he just stared blankly at Matt who was sitting beside his bed reading something on his tablet and moaned softly when he tried to shift his position and his body informed him how stiff and sore it was.

“Hey, about time you woke up.” Matt looked up and gave him a relieved smile. “John woke up two days ago.” He looked over his shoulder as Carson walked up. “He's awake but I don't think he'll be aware until you get coffee into him.” Matt joked.

“Tea maybe but not coffee today.” Carson shook his head and chuckled in amusement as Xander let out a begging whine. “No, it will be too much for your system right now, maybe in a few hours.”

Xander pouted.

“What did you do to get the dreaded puppy eyes, Carson?” John asked chuckling as he joined them.

“Told him he couldn't have coffee.” Carson shrugged checking over a few things.

“Xander doesn't work well with out coffee or sugar.” John warned. “It's also how we control his ADD, without it he's as still as a bouncy ball and the attention span of gnat.”

“What about medication?” Carson frowned.

“What he isn't allergic too doesn't work.” Matt shrugged. “Coffee and sugar is all that works.”

“Which do you prefer, Carson, Caffeine or Sugar? Cause if he doesn't get soon he's going to wiggle right out of that bed and bounce.” John asked pointing at a fidgeting Xander.

“No more than three cups until I clear him.” Carson sighed shaking his head as John immediately handed over the coffee in his hand and Xander gulped it down. He watched the monitors as they steadied out and Xander settled a little. “How are you feeling Alex?”

“Sore, but I think that's from sleeping. A little dazed, and hungry but other wise fine.” He looked at John. “That was weird.” He stated getting a grin from John and a nod. “I was sure all that background information would be distracting but it wasn't.”

“No, it isn't.” John agreed. “It stays there unless you need it.”

“Weird, but kinda cool too.” He looked back at Carson. “So can I go eat?”

“I have food for you here, eat that, then if you stable out a bit more you can go.” Carson handed over a tray of scrambled eggs and toast with a mug of black tea and two packets of sugar. “Just keep him here for another hour until that bag of fluids is done.” He requested and headed off for another bed.

“What happened?” Xander asked forking up some eggs and began eating hungrily.

“What do you remember?” John asked perching on the bed, tearing open the sugar and pouring it into the tea, and stirring it for him.

“Working, then the alarms going off and General Jack ordering an evacuation...” He paused. “Dad and David okay?”

“Yeah they are talking to General O'Neill.” Matt answered, taking one of his extra slices of toast to nibble on.

“Jack shoved Daniel and a laptop at me...”

“Lorne gave it to me.” John nodded.

“It was hard to stay up right in the crowd, then getting called and sitting in the chair, keeping the gate open longer then being really really tired.” He ate the slice of buttered toast that the eggs had been on before starting the other slice. “What caused the evacuation?”

“No one knows what happened exactly, all we know is that twenty bombs went off world wide, the President ordered an evacuation of anyone who could be grabbed before the radiation hit them, Washington was first.” John sighed shaking his head. “O'Neill was ordered not to tell anyone in the mountain as everyone there was safe, too deep underground for the radiation to reach, then they were evacuated to the Alpha and Beta sites and untouched supplies were shipped out.”

“Explains all the gate activity for the last two weeks then.” Xander murmured dully.

“Only once all retrievable people and supplies were gotten were they to leave.” John said quietly. “Ships are monitoring Earth to keep track of what is happening and to see how high the levels go to see when we can return...if we can.” He sighed. “Everyone was told yesterday, everyone is walking around is shock today, those that can are working to keep busy.” He rubbed a hand over his hair making it even more messy. “Those higher up that made it out are trying to figure out what the hell happened and who did it, which really isn't reassuring people.”

“I bet.” Xander grimaced. “So what are we doing now?”

“At the moment we are looking for safe places to build farms, cause if it's going to be years before we can return we are going to need food and we just don't have the resources to trade for all the food we are going to need.” John grimaced. “There aren't a lot of safe worlds out there and there aren't a lot of things that we have that will grow on this world. So we are searching for other worlds that we can move to that we can defend that are also out of the Wraith's way.” he pulled a face. “Which isn't an easy task.”

“And besides that?”

“Getting everyone settled and given things to do and keeping eye out for the trouble makers and calming down those that are freaking out. Grieving and working, that's all we can do.” John shrugged looking helpless and a little lost.

“I guess, when you actually think about it there isn't a lot that people can actually do.” Xander said dully. 

“Yeah we are at a loss at what to do with six hundred people, we barely have enough furniture for them all, about the only bright side is that we have enough food to feed every one with out a problem for a about a year.” John nodded.

“Do we know how many they managed to get off world?” Xander asked in a small voice.

“Not enough.” Matt's voice was tired.

“The rough estimate was maybe six hundred thousand.” John slumped where he was sitting. “No more than just over a million.”

“Fuck...” Xander looked at them in horror. “Out of nine billion?”

“With the shield up we can still dial earth, the mountain has been sealed so no one can enter, General O'Neill has been keeping in contact with the Earth ships that way.” John stared down at his boots. “People are dying by the millions everyday and there isn't a god damn thing anyone can do but watch and listen.”

Matt reached up and removed the tray and the brothers moved to bracket in their youngest brother and just sat huddled together, ignoring the tears that fell.

  
  


**

  
  


For a week Xander lost himself in computer code before he looked up startled when a thought hit him. A frantic look around for a clock showed that it was early evening and made his way to find his father and Jack. Atlantis landed in the corridor for his father's personal quarters and hurried to the door, waving his hand over the control panel, setting off the internal chime.

A moment later the door opened and he stepped in looking around to find his father working at the table and Jack standing on the balcony staring out at the ocean.

“Alex, you look like you were struck by a board of an idea.” Patrick noted looking up from his work looking tired and hunted as everyone else. “Blurt.” he ordered.

Xander did as ordered, finding it tumbling out of his mouth in a garbled fast mess, jumping from idea to idea, when he was done slumped down on to one of the chairs around the table, and then noticed the look on his father's face.

“I hope you followed that because it didn't even sound English.” Jack snorted in amusement.

“That wasn't English.” Patrick noted quietly getting Jack's attention and hurried into the room.

“Alex, say anything doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense.” Jack ordered frowning as Xander spoke and then reached up for his radio ordering Daniel and John to Patrick's quarters. “That is Ancient, I know because I spoke it for a week before I had to get it sucked out because it nearly killed me.” Jack sighed.

“Did the chair do this?” Patrick demanded.

“No, but it might have triggered something in his genes or something that was already in his mind.” Jack shook his head and yelled enter when the door chimed, letting both John and Daniel in at the same time.

“What's going on?” John asked looking hassled.

“Alex, speak slowly and talk to Daniel.” Jack ordered softly sliding into his own seat dropping his head to the table.

Daniel listened and grimaced. “You know my ancient has sucked since descending, its a lot harder to relearn now. But I think he wants to know if the math did it.”

“Mathis didn't do this Alex.” John shook his head slowly rubbing at his temples. “At least not directly, it's your brain catching up to what you were doing nearly two weeks ago.”

“This happened to you?” Jack jerked up looking startled.

“Yeah, it's from being connected to the city, it's like having a dictionary downloaded into your brain. It goes like this, it downloads, the brain mulls it over for awhile and if it accepts it you start speaking it by accident cause that’s all your brain is processing right now. Lasted for about two weeks for me before I started managing to slip in English and then another week until I could constantly speak it, but I'm fluent in both now.” He shrugged and looked at Alex. “Carson should have warned you, I did remind him to do so before he released you as I was in meeting for the rest of the day.”

Xander shook his head and scowled.

“Not so bad, you can insult everyone and they will never know.” John pointed out.

“He had an idea and seemed very insistent on tell us.” Patrick informed him.

“He could write it out.” Daniel suggested.

“Can't.” John shook his head. “All communication is officially Ancient for probably three weeks, just be glad he can understand English, I lost that a few times, but it always came back after a few days.”

“I guess that would be when the brain got overwhelmed by all the data it was processing.” Daniel murmured frowning.

“Alright, tell me but don't babble, I'll translate.” John looked at Xander. “My big first project, the one I got you to look over every few weeks, how did you see that working?” He looked at Patrick with a raised eyebrow.

“It's on Earth Alex, not much use here.” Patrick pointed out and got rolled eyes and pleading look. “Alright, the way I read the code was that it a large storage device, it collects all data exposed too, stores it, catalogues it, notes it in the database and waits for it to be retrieved to be viewed.” He saw Xander's expectant look and frowned. “I'm not getting what you are trying to point out Alex.”

“Wait, I think I do.” Daniel looked at Xander. “Collects all data it is exposed to. All data or just data given to it?”

“Started out as only fed information, but I made a mistake in some of the code I added just before I went back to Atlantis and it was hooked into the internet...” John groaned. “Alex, you didn't?” Xander gave him a sheepish look.

“I'm not following?” Jack frowned.

“Alex made a mistake in his coding and his computer began collecting and cataloguing ALL information that it had access too, the entire World Wide Web, the telephone lines, fax machines, probably satellite hook ups as well.” Patrick groaned rubbing at his temples. “His computer had access to everything that was data, that was sent and received and he never had a chance to correct it before he left.”

“I remember you say you were going to shut down the lab before you left.” Jack said slowly.

“I did, but I didn't disconnect it from the internet so it was still collecting, that things can't be turned off completely, it's always working until the generator runs out if it's not being constantly being recharged by electricity.” John translated frowning. “I didn't have time when I came back home, cause I started at the SGC...and I kinda forgot.”

“So it has been collecting everything for nearly six months?” Jack blinked slowly. “There isn't a distant issue?”

“It's hooked directly into the web and the satellites and they were still running a few weeks ago.” Xander shrugged.

“Would radiation destroy the electronics? Or the pulse?” Jack tilted his head.

“Kinda made it to last and take a lot of damage before it broke down, it's why it took so long to build everything has at least four backups.” John rolled his eyes. “Alex.” He sighed.

“Jack.” Daniel said slowly.

“Yeah, I'm thinking the same.” Jack nodded slowly in agreement.

“Care to fill me in?” Patrick asked calmly.

“It collects all information world wide and has been running continuously for months, it may have recorded just what the hell happened, how it happened, why it happened and who the hell did it.” Jack explained quietly. “We just need a way to get it with out damaging it.” He looked at Alex. “I remember you saying it was in a secure lab under the house, don't suppose you put a beacon on it so if it got stolen you could find it and hack in did you?” He asked expectantly and Xander looked at John with a panicked look and John calmly placed his hands on his shoulders and translated what Jack had asked.

“Yes, I was paranoid that someone might find out about Bardic, so it is heavily encrypted and passworded and tagged so if stolen I could trigger then beacon and it could be found.”

“I don't know that word.” Jack frowned. “Bardic?”

“A place where songs and history is taught.” Daniel informed him looking amused. “It's from a fiction series, very popular.”

“Ah.” Jack nodded. “So if we send the signal through the gate, trigger the beacon and then one of the ships can beam it aboard and bring it here.”

Xander nodded as John translated. “Will be a lot of useless data to dig through, thousands of terrabytes.”

“Just how big is this thing?” Jack frowned looking worried.

“Last time I saw it, it was only about the size of the kitchen counter and about as high.” Patrick commented dryly and looked at Xander.

“Twenty feet long, five feet wide and six feet high, set the beam that wide and you should get everything in that area.” Xander looked a little sheepish.

“At least it will fit in the cargo bay.” Jack rolled his eyes getting to his feet. “Get what you need to send the signal and meet me in the control room, I'll tell the Daedalus to beam it up and head here, there isn't much else they can do just hanging around watching the fallout.” He sighed heading out of the apartment.

Xander hurried to his own quarters to grab the tablet he needed and hurried to the control room to find Jack already talking to Colonel Caldwell and John standing beside him. He had to dig through a few files before he found the data file he wanted and looked at the two men.

“Send it.” John nodded.

Xander looked at the tablet as it activated and began to beep slowly indicating that it had been activated and nodded to the two men.

“ **Sounds like a radar ping.”** John noted and Xander nodded with a smirk. **“It's get more insistent the closer it gets?”** Xander nodded again.

“He went Ancient huh?” Chuck asked from nearby giving Xander a grin. “Like you did?”

“Yeah, speak, write and understanding at the moment.” John nodded, then looked at Xander. **“You can read your tablet?”**

“ **It's connect to Atlantis, she's translating it for me at the moment.”** Xander shrugged. **“Can't do it for long because it burns out the battery and the processor. Thank you Atlantis.”** he added as the Ancient writing disappeared from the tablet. **“Gonna have to build me an ancient computer.”** He sighed.

“ **Use what's available.”** John said dryly. **“You'll be able to use the already built ones with ease right now, it's not like there are consoles empty all over the city for you to pick from, I'm sure you can find a quiet spot to work in if that's what you want.”** He smiled. **“Bardic will be here in about two weeks.”**

Xander sighed, nodded and headed off.

  
  


**

  
  


Xander worked at a console going over Ancient mathematics now that he understood it, while Daniel sat at a desk he had managed to talk to soldiers into carrying in for him with a few books, his laptop and a pile of note books and pens.

While Xander worked Daniel would try to get his Ancient back up to scratch trying to piece sentences together often making Xander snort in amusement or look at him like he was crazy and then correct him.

By the end of the second day there were a few other linguists in the room taking notes with Daniel and a few Soldiers that were off duty. Of course a lot of the time they had to wait for Daniel to translate something for Xander to correct or play charades to get across what they wanted to learn to say as Xander still had regained his understanding of English, though some times Atlantis translated for him on the console.

The fifth day Xander heard something that made him stop and look around for the familiar voice that had stated that he was a paedophile and got up stalking up to Markham glaring and demanded to know who had taught him that.

“ _ **Alex calm down.”**_ Daniel said slowly, walking over with his dictionary. **_“Repeat.”_** Those few words he could say fluently as he had said them often. “Who taught you to say that?” Daniel asked Markham, flipping through the pages that were slowly getting creased from being used so often. “I think it is something really offensive.”

“It's supposed to be I like children.” Markham stated slowly. Daniel found the words in the book and said them to Xander who told them the correct pronunciation. “What did I say?” Markham frowned.

“I can't find it in here.” He handed the book to Xander who found the two words and pointed them out. “Yeah who taught you that, you said you are a paedophile.”

“Heard it off-world, a guy was hugging this boy who was holding on to him really tightly with a grin on his face.” Markham whispered his face pale. “They were culled a few days later.” He looked at Daniel. “Couldn't mean anything else? Any similar words?”

Daniel looked at Xander and asked but Xander shook his head firmly.

“Anyone got anything else that they learned off-world that they want to make sure of the meaning before you say it and get your team jailed or killed?” Daniel asked looking over the group.

One Soldier rose to his feet. _**“I am a protector, you are safe.”**_

Xander nodded and walked to the projector screen that had been brought in and placed in front of them and typed that up and the translation appeared and the guy grinned before sitting down. The next few were similar before another odd one popped up.

Xander stared at him for a long moment before snickering and putting the translation up on the board.

“ You are an anus, I would very much like to break your nose.” The poor young man went red and slunk down into his seat.

“Where did you learn that one?” Daniel asked chuckling.

“Colonel Sheppard, sir.” He went redder if that was possible. “He used to mutter it a lot when he went Ancient.”

“I think he meant 'You are an Asshole and I would love to punch you'.” Daniel translated it getting more snickers.

“Probably about McKay.” Another chuckled.

“What about McKay?” John asked walking in and saw the translation on the board frowning and then smirked when Xander told him what the young soldier had said. “Yep and Radek when they pissed me off. It was all Teyla and Ronon could do to stop from laughing, especially when I said it nicely.” He looked around the room. “So what class is running today?”

“Language and Pronunciation. Right now it is making sure what you learned off-world means what you think it does, we've found a few that just wrong.” Daniel informed him. “Thought we might fix that before it became a problem.”

“Might be an idea.” John nodded and looked at Xander changing language. “ _ **Rodney would like to know if you could do a math class? It's pretty easy to translate it over once you figure out the variables, I tried to teach them when I can but I can't quite grasp it myself**_.”

“ _ **Sure but I still can't write in English.”**_

“ _ **Yeah but you can translate it for me and I can relay.”**_ John shrugged. ** _“I got tomorrow off and Rodney bullied me into playing translator.”_**

“ _ **Sure, I can run both at the same time, most of the time they don't need me, just help with pronunciation.”**_ Xander nodded. “ ** _When?”_**

“ _ **When can you fit them in? I'm free until the day after tomorrow.”**_ John shrugged in return, he really hadn't had any plans.

“ _ **When they are ready. They can set up on that side.”**_ Xander pointed to the other side of his console where there was plenty of room to set up more desks and another projector screen or white boards. **_“They must bring what they need, I won't supply._** ”

“ _ **I'm sure they will bring plenty of coffee.”**_ John smirked.

“ _ **I meant desks, chairs, white boards, projector screen and so on.**_ ” Xander chuckled.

“Point.” John murmured in English nodded and put a call into Rodney. “He's agreed, but you have to bring everything you need, including chairs and tables, whiteboards and so on, he ain't supplying.” He tilted his head listening. “When ever you have time, Rodney, he's running a Language class right now you can join in on the other side of the room, it won't interfere.” He just shook his head and disconnected. “ _ **He'll be here shortly with a few of his people who he doesn't think are too stupid to learn.”**_

“ _ **open to all”**_ Xander shrugged turning back to his console, and reading over the math.

Ten minutes later a few soldiers began carrying more desks and chairs for thirty people, a few dragged in three white boards, a projector, another carried in a one of those large industrial kettles, cups, sugar, milk, tea bags, spoons and a table for it all to rest on.

He saw one person looking around with the projector cable in her hand looking around where to plug it into a computer and held his hand out for it and inserted it into his console, easily putting up the long string of numbers he wanted on one of the white boards.

He looked over at Daniel.

“ _ **Good?**_ ”

“We're good for now.” Daniel nodded.

Xander nodded and moved over to the white boards with John at his side. _**“You know how to translate this out?”**_ He asked as the group including the soldiers settled them selves at the desks with laptops, tablets, notebooks and a cup of coffee.

“ _ **Base eight math right?”**_ John asked looking it over and began translating it to English numbers.

“ _ **Yes.”**_ As he began to speak John translated for him. “This is basic math, having both up will show you how they differ” Xander glared at a few grumbles. “Start basic, learn it, know it when you see it, then you won't have problems later when we get to the hard stuff, some of it is brain knotting, you'll get further banging your head against a wall, hard. You learn it well enough and you might be able to do it with out a translator, it can get tricky.” Xander turned to look at the board as John finished and raised an eyebrow. “Who recognises it?” He saw Rodney nod but everyone else looked clueless. “You all should be fired.” Xander said bluntly. “This is basic math. I knew this in high school.” Underneath it all John wrote 10=8. “Anyone?”

“Hey I know that.” Daniel grinned looking it over, recognising it.

“A linguist knows but not a room full of mathematicians?” Xander sneered at them. “I teach nothing until you learn that!” He pointed at the board and then looked at John. 

“ _ **Maybe you should get someone to get you your paperwork to do or a computer to play on or you are going to get bored really fast with these idiots.”**_ Xander suggested dryly and John snickered nodding.

“ _ **I'll go get it, maybe in the few minutes I'm gone their brains will boot.”**_

“ _ **doubt it.”**_ Xander snorted in disgust. He left them to stare stupidly at the board and moved to the linguists, helping a few with pronunciation and writing. He looked up when more soldiers came in with more chairs and tables until there were four sections set up, like the other two. It made Xander glad that it was a large room, there was easily room for another three maybe four classes.

“ _ **This way those that get it can move on and not have to wait and waste every ones time.”**_ John explained once the other four projectors were set up.

“ _ **Good, I like that.”**_ Xander nodded and put pieces up on the other boards while John looked at the others.

“You don't shift to another board until you solve that.” He told them, while he moved to a board and began translating that, occasionally asking Xander something to clarify what he was understanding. “You prove it, show me and I'll translate to Dr Sheppard.”

Rodney and Radek were the first to stand and show their work and John just nodded after looking it over and they headed over to the next section.

  
  


**

  
  


By the end of the week Daniel had the hang of the basics to teach beginners and didn't have to refer to his dictionary or Xander as often. Also by the end of the week they had more people including thirty children that had arrived with their parents in the evacuation. Between every one there they taught what they were supposed to know and a few extra things.

By the end of the week no one had gotten passed the third board of math, many of the scientists were glaring at the board as they tried to figure it out, leaving Xander snickering quietly at his console.

  
  


**

  
  


Xander sat down to his not beef stew listening and finally understanding English again and enjoying that understanding when Rodney, Radek, Miko and a few Soldiers sat down at his table glaring at him.

He tilted his head curiously at them and raised an eyebrow.

“What are we missing?” Rodney demanded in frustration. “John won't tell us.”

Xander nodded smirking, he had told him not too. He smiled in greeting as Daniel and Jack joined them a few moments later.

“What did you learn on the first board?” Daniel translated between bites when Xander spoke patiently.

“Base eight math.” Rodney huffed.

“Which helped on second board right?” Daniel raised an eyebrow at them.

“Yes.” Radek nodded slowly.

“So take what you learned from the first and second board to the third.” Daniel pointed out. “He does that. It all fits together like a chain. What you learn before will help on the next thing you learn.”

“It's not nice to frustrate your students, Professor.” Jack mock scolded him then smirked. “How are the kids classes coming along...the real kids?”

“Fine, I think they are doing really well but children always adapt better and faster then adults.” Daniel shrugged and then looked at Xander when he spoke up. “Alex has a project he's been working on for awhile, that he'd think would be helpful with that, he's been making a teaching program, he thinks it's almost done but he'd still have to either load it on to the server for the children to access or build them individual computers.”

“Do we have any teachers in the mix?” Jack asked and sighed when Daniel shook his head. “Has anyone looked over the coding and tried the program it's self?”

“Myself and Miko have, along with Dr Patrick....” Radek frowned. “Too many Sheppard's with PhD's.” He muttered for a moment. “Goes from very basic shapes, colours and so to first year college math.”

“I looked it over.” Daniel added. “It even has a test program that will test the children to see what they can do and work off that. I still have it on my laptop, I play with it when I'm bored.”

“Can a new user log into a used computer?”

“Easily.” Daniel nodded.

“Give it to me tonight and I'll give it a test run as well, in the mean time find out how many spare computers, laptops, tablets and consoles we have free and where we can set them up...or are they happy to be in their with the adults?”

“ They like it because they are all learning the same thing and they have someone to ask questions of when they get stuck.” Daniel assured him. “It also teaches them they you are never too old to learn, or not smart enough to learn.”

“Good.” He looked back at Xander. “I'll let you know in the morning and talking it over with a few people. The parents might not like it.”

“What's not to like? Kids are occupied, they are learning, and they are out of the way.” Rodney snorted. “That's what most parents want.”

“Some but not all.” Daniel agreed quietly. “They might not like a computer teaching them.”

“They don't really have a choice, we aren't always going to have time to spare to teach the kids.” one of the soldiers pointed out.

“There might be someone qualified on the Daedalus, but it would also be good for those with medical conditions or laid up in the infirmary to use.” He tilted his head. “How long does it take to do a subject?”

Daniel muttered a few words to himself a few times before he translated. “Depends on how well I know the subject, if known well it can take as little as a week or as long as six months.”

“If someone gave you what they had to learn in a year could you code that in your program?”

“It would take time, why? I added basic subjects to the program.” Xander asked through Daniel.

“We could also use it as a college and university, adults could learn in their spare time learning new skills.” Jack explained his idea. “Make your hall a study hall where they call all meet up and discuss classes, get help, bounce ideas and so on.”

“While you're at it find a way to set up a PE class.” Miko spoke up quietly. “They get fat if they only sit and learn.”

“We need to set up areas that we can turn into play areas as well and not just for the kids.” One soldier stated. “Basketball, netball, mini golf, tennis, soccer...which ever ones will fit all around the city, people are getting restless only working sitting in the quarters, trouble will start soon if there aren't other options.”

“Do we have any equipment for those?” Jack frowned.

“Easily made.” Rodney waved it off. “Just need the space.” He glanced around the table. “Already have a driving range for golf, volleyball and soccer on the East pier, Basketball, probably netball too on the West pier, fishing and god knows why quilting on the south pier.” He saw a few surprised blinks form the new comers. “I'll put out notices so everyone knows where everything is located and when games and activities run.”

“You do that.” Jack stated dryly. “One problem down. Only fourteen million to go.” Jack sighed tiredly.

“Only fourteen million you are doing well.” Daniel translated for Xander, both of them getting a tired glare.

“Anyone of of you scientists thought about trying to make a star trek replicator?” A soldier joked.

Rodney groaned while Miko and Radek snickered.

“What did I say?” He asked looking confused.

“They have tried, and are trying.” Rodney sighed. “Giving me headaches as they just prove that they are idiots and really stupid and don't deserve their degrees. The math they give me is horrible and flawed.”

“You think it is possible?” Jack blinked.

“Wormholes are, a lot of things we thought were impossible are now a reality Jack.” Rodney nodded. “Transporters work, so in theory so should food replicators, no one has figured out how mathematically yet and until that happens we are shit out of luck.” Though as he said it he eyed Xander who just kept eating as if nothing was going on around him. “What stage is he at with the download anyway?”

“Should have about a week or so left why?” Daniel answered after thinking about it for a moment.

“There is a stage near the end that really freaked John out, I'm not sure if he warned Alex or not. He went deaf for a few hours and then dropped into a fugue state, almost catatonic, just walking around in a daze, didn't hear anyone, didn't see anyone and just kept walking for six hours and then returned to his room and fell asleep for two days. He was fine after that.” Rodney eyed Xander again. “He freaked because the last thing he remembered was being with everyone at dinner, three days before hand.”

“Alex.” Jack called trying to get his attention. “Alex.” He called again when he didn't get an answer.

“Alex.” Rodney reached out and grabbed his wrist but he kept on eating. “McKay to Colonel Sheppard.” He hit his radio, muttering about too many Sheppards.

“ _I'm nearly done, one more report and I'll be right there.”_ John assured him.

“John, Alex has slipped into the last stage, doesn't hear and doesn't notice anyone.” Rodney informed him quietly.

“ _On my way.”_

“You sound worried, if he just walks around...” Jack frowned.

“ John nearly walked into open vents, off they piers and down holes in the floors, we followed him around for those six hours gently nudging him enough to change direction so he couldn't get hurt or killed, but it only worked for people that John knew really well, so it was just the team to herd him around.” Rodney sighed. “There goes my early night.”

“So his family and a few people he met while here, not so hard.” Jack smiled.

“Alex doesn't know the family so well.” John corrected coming up behind Xander and gently setting his hands on his shoulders. “He knows me the best out of all of us and I've been out of his life for the last two years.” He saw Jack wince as he caught his meaning. “Who does he hang around when he'd not nagging me or teaching?” He asked looking around the table. He saw one of the soldiers frown. “Simmons?”

“I've seen him join in games with Lorne, Stackhouse, Markham, Bates and me, recently he's brought three new kids along.” He frowned trying to remember names. “Martinson, Wilkes and Holland I think.” He tilted his head. “Spends more time with Lorne, Stackhouse and Markham though.”

“Yeah they followed him around while he was here the last two times.” Rodney nodded in agreement.

“True, I did order them too.” John nodded looking around the mess. “And they will understand this from when I went through it.” He stepped back as Xander rose from his seat leaving his half eaten meal behind and began walking away. “Call them and fill them in, tell them to find me in two hours staggered shifts.” John ordered before hurrying after Xander.

  
  


**

  
  


“How are you feeling?” Xander looked up from the book he was reading to see Patrick leaning against the door frame.

“Better, still a little dazed and very grateful to be able to speak English again.” Xander smiled at his father who for once didn't look exhausted.

“Bardic is here, they just beamed it down to a room down near McKay's lab.” He looked amused. “They couldn't get a precise lock so they just beamed up everything within the room and beamed up your whole lab, desks, chairs...everything so I don't think you are going to be bored any time soon.”

“At least I don't have to start everything from scratch again.” Xander grinned, hauling himself off his bed and followed his father down to the lab holding Bardic after grabbing two tablets.

“I can't believe how big it is.” Patrick shook his head as the stepped in room that was only a few feet bigger then their basement lab.

Xander concentrated on his tablet for a few moments easily accessing Bardic and disabling it's ability to upload or download anything until he enabled it and then moved to the inbuilt consoles in the middle of the large machine and began typing at the keyboard.

“How long will it take to find something?” Jack asked from where he was leaning against a wall.

“Not long, but it could be weeks before I find something relevant.” Xander shrugged. “What key words should I look for? I doubt that they would talk about their plans bluntly, probably in code.” He typed in all the code words that Jack and Patrick suggested, along with a few others that John threw in that might help and sat back to wait for the results to pop up on the screen and blinked in surprise.

“What?”

“There is nothing, no search results. That should have popped thousands.” Xander let his fingers fly over the keys.

“Can we help? There are four other consoles?” John asked rocking on the balls of his feet.

“Yeah we might have to go through this data manually.” Xander nodded slowly still working.

“And if we still find nothing?” Jack frowned.

“Then the attack didn't origninate on Earth or they did everything face to face and hand written letters.” 

“What about large money transfers?” Patrick asked. “Can you track those?” He saw the looks he got. “Bombs of any type are not cheap and they would have to be paid.”

“Point.” Jack nodded slowly. “Alex?”

“John you start here.” He moved from that console letting John take his place. “That is phone calls made, they will be written out.” He moved to another console and typed in a new search. “What's the lowest bracket I should start at?” He asked looking over his shoulder. “That will weed out a lot of other crap.”

“Start at four hundred thousand.” Jack sighed. “That's the cheapest I've ever heard a war head going.”

Xander typed that in and waited and sighed. “Still a lot of results, I'll have to go through them one by one.”

“Can anyone use a console or did you code them?” Patrick asked.

“Anyone once I've booted it.” Xander looked over his shoulder. “Why?”

“We have fourteen accountants and six forensic accountants, let them do the tracking, they need something to do too.” He suggested.

“They would at least know what to look for.” Xander nodded in agreement leaving the results up on that screen and moved on to another.

“Bardic isn't downloading Atlantis is it?” John asked suddenly.

“No, I disabled the upload, download features.” Xander shook his head. “It also means that no one can delete anything, if they try it will be recorded so we can see if anyone tries.” He shrugged. “Doubt they would but you never know about people.”

“True, okay so what if this was an off-world attack that slipped through the cracks and got passed all the ships and what not around Earth, Bardic there would still pick up the transmissions right?” Jack inquired frowning.

“Yeah, I can set up for a unfamiliar word search, Bardic knows all Earth's languages.” Xander nodded inputting what he wanted into the search engine. “Can't our ships detect a cloaked ship?”

“Some cloaks yes, but there are still a lot of technology out there that we've never come across and more advanced than us.” Jack nodded. “They could have easily slipped by our patrols if they were careful enough.”

“Bardic also might have caught a few signals on it's trip here.” Xander warned, as a few began to pop, he played the first audio file and then rolled his eyes. “Geeks.”

“What language is that?” Jack asked.

“Klingon.” John answered snicker.

“Just a moment.” Xander typed something in and read the translated transcript. “Just bitching about parents and girls, recorded about four months ago.” He grinned, shaking his head and activated the second one, he tilted his head listening. “Slightly mechanical and yet musical.”

“Asgard.” Jack informed him. “Heard it a few times, not really something you forget.” He shrugged when Patrick looked at him in amusement. “When was that one?”

“Six months ago, according to this they were in orbit.”

“Thor stopped by saying that they were going to unavailable for awhile.” Jack sighed. “Could have really used their help with this.”

“A few signals it picked up on the trip, mostly ship chatter, a few Asguard signals but that's it.” Xander shook his head.

“So it had to be internal.” Jack sighed. “I'll get those forensic accountants here to help out and two people to go through everything else, but I need you two to go back to your other jobs.”

“What jobs?” Xander frowned.

“We don't have much for you to do right now but if you could continue the classes you started a few weeks ago it would be appreciated.” Jack requested. 

“What was decided about that program?” Xander asked suddenly.

“Nothing yet, it's still in debate, I'll let you know.” Jack shook his head.

“Okay.” Xander stepped back from the console and began looking around the lab to see what else had arrived, picking up a few tablets that had things on it that he could work on.

  
  


**

  
  


A/N: Sorry guys but my muse has run away for this story, I have tried for months to get the next chapter out but sadly nothing has come. So for now this is complete, even though there are huge plot holes and nothing has been wrapped up. I thought in the long run you would prefer to have this chapter then wait how ever long it takes, if ever for my muse to come back on this.

  
  


Draconia.


End file.
